22 Signs You’re A Natural Redhead

You know all about sunscreen, and you’ve had someone ask if the carpet matches the drapes.

1. You’ve been called one if not all of the below foods.

I’ve been called carrot top, Twizzler, strawberry, ginger, and French fry with ketchup on top, to name a few.

2. You get mad when redhead roles go to dye jobs.

You couldn’t find a REAL redhead to play Mary Jane? REALLY, Marvel? Sigh.

3. You’ve had someone ask if your carpet matches the drapes.

4. In school, you were the only redhead in your class.

5. You kinda got used to people asking if they could touch your hair.


6. And asking, “Is that your NATURAL hair color, though? REALLY?”

7. You think Pete & Pete is one of the greatest shows ever made.

Two redhead brothers, a redhead mom, AND a tattoo of a redhead siren named Petunia?! Come on, this is just the best thing ever.

8. You have a love/hate relationship with this episode of South Park.

In that you love Cartman, but don’t think he rocks the red as well as you do.

9. You don’t care much for the beach, because going means you have to bring all of these things with you.

10. And if you do get a sunburn, you don’t tell your parents, because they’ve been telling you to wear sunscreen for years.

11. This happens on the regular.

12. And this is the only way you’ll ever get a GREAT tan.*

(*connected freckles)

13. You have the secret desire to procreate with another redhead, or at least someone who carries the gene…

14. Because you really want a beautiful redhead baby some day!

15. This is the only shade of makeup you can ever wear.

16. Oh, and it always has to have some kind of SPF in it.


17. You agree with everything in this Tim Minchin song about redhead prejudice.

18. If you’re walking with someone else who has red hair, everyone always assumes you’re related. Or twins.

19. When you get a haircut, the hairdresser always tells you that people pay a lot of money to get your color.

20. But you know the difference between a fake redhead and a dye job.

It’s cool, dye jobs — WE ACCEPT YOU.

21. Ariel was your Disney princess.

And she still is.

22. And when you see fellow redheads, you give ‘em a wave or nod of solidarity.

Because that’s how redheads do: We look out for our own! REDHEADS UNITE!

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Deputy Editorial Director, Cat Wrangler
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