16 Signs You’re Too Old To Be In This Bar

If you’ve ever thought, “Can I bring my kid to a bar?” Then you’re too old.

1. The first question you have before going out is: “Do they serve food…?”

2. Staying out “late” means you’re leaving by midnight. And if your friends try to stop you, you will hurt them.

3. You get irrationally angry at nonsensical bar names.

4. It’s way too fucking loud to have a conversation, and that pisses you off.

5. You’ve never heard any of the songs playing, and you secretly think they suck.

6. The idea of standing the whole night makes you want to blow your brains out.

7. Coasters are used at all times.

8. This is you after one drink.

9. You react violently when someone tries to hit on you, because you don’t put up with that bullshit anymore.

10. When your friend asks if you want to coordinate outfits, this is what you imagine would be fun.

11. When someone buys a shot, it takes all your strength not to laugh in their face.

12. When people pose for Instagram pics, you’re totally not having it.

13. This is how you politely dance.

14. And you tend to get annoyed when drunk people dance on the bar.

15. This is how you hit on people.

16. And you brought your baby to the bar.

Go home, drunk dad, you’re drunk.

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