1. Because lipstick gets all over your teeth and makes you look like you’ve been munching on human body parts.
2. Because mascara runs down your face and makes you look like an Alice Cooper groupie.
It’s also a dead give-away that you’ve been crying in the bathroom. AWESOME.
3. Because when you go for goth you’ll probably get raccoon instead.
4. Because blush can make it look like you took a 2x4 to the face.
“Not here or here so much. But riiiiight here.”
6. Because your foundation is always the wrong color and people assume you OD’ed on sunblock.
7. Because blending is hard work.
No, I did not just eat a powdered donut. Why do you ask?
8. Because if you rub your eyes you look like you haven’t slept since the ’90s.
10. Because who even knows when you’re supposed to end the cat eye. WHO?
SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME.
11. Because eyelash curlers are like tiny medieval torture devices.
12. Because lipliner makes you look like you’ve been sneaking Oreos.
Or maybe you have been sneaking Oreos? No judgement there.
14. Because glitter exists and it shouldn’t.
15. Because red lipstick in the wrong hands is literally terrifying.
16. Because clumpy mascara makes you look like you have spiders on/in your eyes.
17. Because perfecting your eyebrows is too much pressure!
WE SHOULD ALL JUST SHAVE ‘EM OFF.
18. Because makeup causes allergic reactions and breakouts.
You know what that means…MORE MAKEUP YAY.
21. Because we spend forever putting it on in the morning just so we can take it off at night.
And then do the whole thing again the next day!