1. First of all, the only tampons that can handle our flow are the size of tree trunks:
2. And menstrual cups are great! But with a heavy flow, sometimes our cup ~runneth over~:
3. Which means we often have to use backup. BIG backup:
4. Basically, every trip to the bathroom is an emergency:
5. When women are like "I only use light tampons, tee-hee!!!" we're like:
6. Same for women who have three-day periods:
7. Because every month we experience a flood of biblical proportions:
8. Which leaves us wondering how we haven't fainted or, you know, withered up and died:
9. The day it starts is the worst day, because it means you're about to get strapped into a five-day log flume ride on Blood River:
10. Psych!!! The second day is the actual worst day, because that's when Satan really throws open the tap on your uterus:
11. You have to dress in all black, just to be safe. Leaks are VERY REAL when you have a heavy period:
12. And sleeping! Remember sleeping? On a heavy flow you sometimes have to set an alarm for 2 a.m. to change or you'll wake up in the morning like this:
13. It's basically a week of lying in a puddle of your own blood and tears:
14. Just leaving the house is a struggle:
15. And sometimes it feels like venturing out in public should require a warning label:
16. Either way, surviving the monthly typhoon is an ACCOMPLISHMENT:
I like to discuss my heavy flow on first dates, so men know that I'm fertile.
17. It takes a strong-ass person to survive a heavy period. And it happens 👏 every 👏 single 👏 month!
18. Never forget the words of our patron saint:
