19 Things Every College Kid Wants For Christmas This Year

Parents, take note.

1. Unlimited napping privileges.

2. A ban on relatives asking “How’s school going?”

3. A reprieve from dining hall food.

4. An outlaw on all alarm clocks within a 5-mile radius.

5. Beer that doesn’t contain “lite” or “ice” in the name.

6. The ability to do laundry in a machine that’s not coin-operated.

7. The freedom to binge-watch Netflix without guilt.

8. A full day in sweatpants without judgement.

9. The perfect hiding spot to avoid unfavorable high school classmates.

10. Unlimited snuggle time with the family pet.

11. A shower that’s not covered in other people’s hair.

12. To not be awoken by the sound of vomiting…

13. Or couples drunkenly breaking up…

15. Uninterrupted bathroom time.

16. For last semester’s grades to get lost in the (e)mail.

17. A break from unscheduled fire drills.

18. For this to be the only required text:

19. And money. Lots and lots of money.

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Senior Editor, Acid Bath Princess of the Darkness
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