1. There’s no such thing as “meal time.”
Unless by “meal time” you mean every minute of every day.
2. Tummy grumblings are the soundtrack to your life.
“FeeeEEEEeeeeDddd MeeeEEEeee” —Your own stomach.
3. You often find yourself making excuses to satiate your eternal hunger.
Yes, even the condiments.
4. When you wake up your first thought isn’t, What does this beautiful day have in store for me? It’s, What’s for breakfast?
And you often wonder if it’s possible to make that 6-foot breakfast burrito you dreamt about.
5. When you get into work you immediately ping your co-workers and ask what’s for lunch.
How are you expected to get any work done if you don’t know what you’ll be eating in four hours?
6. You can get a little testy if you go too long without eating.
And let’s be honest, any amount of time is too long.
7. If a waiter asks you, “Soup or salad?” you have one response:
Why not both?
8. When you finally get food, you act like you’ve never eaten before in your entire life.
What is this substance? It brings my stomach such joy!
9. When people ask about your aspirations, your brain always goes to one place.
What the heck is wanderlust and do they serve food?
10. You’ve attended many a meeting just because they advertised free food.
Hmm, zoning and licensing, eh? Tell me more while I shove this pizza into my face.
11. Everyone your age is on a path to self-discovery, but the only thing you’re trying to discover is what’s left in your fridge.
And hopefully there are leftovers in there.
12. It sometimes feels as though you can’t physically insert food into your body at the rate your hunger demands…
13. …but that doesn’t mean you don’t try!
Are feeding tubes a viable option?
14. You often rely on food to keep you emotionally stable.
Pints of ice cream will always be there, but you know who won’t? People.
15. You’ve considering lobbying for legalized food marriage.
You literally can’t live without it. Can you say the same about your significant other?
16. Sometimes hunger feels like the only real thing in your life.
And you’ll spend a lifetime being its love slave.
17. There’s no better feeling than giving hunger exactly what it wants.
And it usually wants bread and/or cheese.
18. You do bad things for your hunger, like eating in bed.
Sleeping in a bed full of crumbs is the worst feeling, but you’ll endure it for food!
19. And you’re not above stealing for your hunger.
They don’t appreciate you like I do, food.
20. Because being hungry is, like, the most basic instinct.
Who are we to deny our true feelings?!
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