18 Things Couples Who Have Been Together Forever Are Tired Of Hearing

Ask me when we’re getting married one more time.

1. “Aren’t you worried you’re missing out?”

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Sorry, having too much fun to care.

2. “I’d get so sick of being with the same person for a long time.”

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Cool. Don’t, then.

3. “Come on. You must wish you were single sometimes.”

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I’m wishing other things right now, actually.

4. “I’m too independent to be in a relationship.”

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I don’t think that word means what you think it means.

5. “Most animals aren’t monogamous, you know. It’s a social construct.”

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You know what else is a social construct? Ice cream.

6. “Do you do everything together?”

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Yes, in fact, our lungs can only breathe air if we’re within 10 feet of each other.

7. “How long have you been together?”

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If I had a dollar for every year we’ve been dating, I’d use it to buy a sign that says “Please stop asking us that question.”

8. “You’re soooooo lucky to not be dating right now.”

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Oh.

9. “Dating is the worst.”

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OK.

10. “I hate dating.”

Got it.

11. “Have you ever broken up and gotten back together?”

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Would you also like to talk about every pet that died during my childhood?

12. “Do you ever fight?”

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Not ever. We are robots. We are programmed to never disagree.

13. “Who’s your one celebrity freebie?”

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My S.O. when he hits it big.

14. “You must fantasize about other people, though.”

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I fantasize about what I’d talk to my cat about if he could speak English. And sleeping inside a giant burrito.

15. “Do you get crushes?”

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Again, giant burritos.

16. “Do you ever run out of things to talk about?”

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Yes, but then we stare dreamily into each other’s eyes while reciting love sonnets.

17. “When are you two getting married?”

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Why do you need to know if you’re not going to be invited anyway?

18. “How long do you think you’ll be together?”

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Until it stops being awesome.

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