2. For keeping your hair out of your food while doing an impression of a pink lion:
5. For a buttering your bread or moisturizing your lips with a tasty balm:
6. For DIY panoramas or taking inconspicuous creep shots of people behind you.
7. For inserting eyedrops or showing off a cool new way to funnel beers.
8. To make use of that baby you have lying around your home:
11. For soup that’s too hot or chopsticks that are just too darn light.
12. For the absolute quickest way to ctrl + alt + delete (or shift + X + 3, or caps lock + S + 6, etc.):
14. For collecting rainwater or making walking in the rain a much heavier ordeal than it needs to be:
15. For squishing bugs at a distance and then trampling their guts throughout your home as a warning to other bugs:
16. For cleaning up the bug guts after you’ve made your point clear to his friends:
17. For when you forgot your lighter but remembered your magnifying glass and stand:
18. For that itch you just can’t scratch without a little help from your friend who loves to play Battleship:
Senior Editor, Acid Bath Princess of the Darkness
Here Are The Top Stories
- A judge set a $1 million bond for Ray Tensing, who was charged with murder for fatally shooting Samuel Dubose.
- The Taliban has appointed Mullah Akhtar Mansour as its new Afghan leader.
- Airplane debris discovered Wednesday "very likely" belongs to the same type of aircraft as missing Malaysia Airlines Flight 370.