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Link: lovepaw.blogspot.com
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Eliot has been a Contributing Editor at Buzzfeed since 2007, and is currently an Editor at Urlesque.com. Eliot is a producer and comedian who appears in sketch and storytelling shows around New York. He lives in Brooklyn with his dog Atticus, who has slowly but surely turned Eliot into the requisite “crazy dog person.”
urlesque.com/bloggers/eliot-glazer
Brooklyn, New York
Before Lady GaGa took up residence in a spaceship on Planet Weirdo, she performed her signature piano ballads (barefoot, you guys!) at an NYU Talent Show under her boring name, Stefanie Germanotta. Bonus points if you wait until the judge at the end warns, “Watch out, Norah Jones.” Yeah, Norah Jones, you'd better watch out, or this girl's going to pull the space trannie rug right out from underneath you!
If Weird Al wore John Lennon glasses and taught college classes or something, this is probably what he would look like. Let's get real, though: if “Weird” were to teach any class, it would definitely be Making Coolio Songs Funny 101.
Link: lovepaw.blogspot.com
Brosephaurus Brendan spends his Saturday nights probably not unlike a number of other college dudes, bathing drunk in a tub filled with Natty Lites. Take note, Playgirl: this is how you capture a dumb jock in all his glory. Levi, to the bath!
Not that Taylor Lautner isn't supremely attractive (homosaywhat?), but nothing reveals the mark of a Sexy Mom using YouTube quite like reading “Is he legal yet???” scrawled across a teenager's abs. We can see the porn title already: Vampires, Werewolves, and Cougars, Oh My!
It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a brainless, endlessly self-promotional, greedy, gay-hating, moose-slaughtering, opportunistic, overconfident blowhard baby machine…in a cape! One thing's for sure: her boobs like uh-MAZING!
Link: comicsalliance.com
What do you think: is Willi a weird kitty or practicing for a synchronized swimming meet? Maybe she's just easy. Yeah, that's it. She's easy.
We don't really follow Twilight, but we do follow adult vampires dressed like Count Chocula. Someone dress up Taylor Lautner as Teen Wolf, stat!
Link: videogum.com
Music Buzz B and GaGa got together for the song, “Video Phone,” which could also be called called “You Are Gay Now.” Do you guys think they shared a ~*space limousine*~ home from the shoot together? We can only dream.
Culture Buzz Sorry to ruin your day, but someone shot a sea lion in the face in Sacramento, leaving the poor thing writhing in pain as he keeps his head in the air, struggling to breathe. Congratulations, Stranger Who Shot Sea Lion In The Face. You are officially a monster. [UPDATE: If you'd rather not watch a sad video, you totally don't have to. -Eliot]
Christopher Beckett saw his dad bring in “craploads” of money with his own internet marketing site, so he's launching a similar project in which you will help fund the purchase of his new dirtbike. Just send him some of your “information,” and you'll have the ball rolling in no time! KID BIZ!
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