6 Types Of Toys Every Parent Loathes With Their Whole Being

Do not buy these.

1. The “Landmines.”

These guys just declared war on bare feet.

Source: toy-tma.com

Then they barricaded themselves behind these orange knives.

Source: hotwheelsracetracks.files.wordpress.com

And sprinkled Lite Brite Pegs on the field of battle (the living room).

Source: andrewsalomone.com

And GOD. DAMN. LEGOS.

Source: quickmeme.com

2. The “Vacuum Snacks.”

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K’Nex rods and connectors are tasty treats.

Source: dividelifefromdeath.tumblr.com

As are these guys (the bracelets, not NPH and Craig Ferguson…okay both.)

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But the vacuum’s favorite meal will always be Barbie shoes because of the dulcet clatter they make going in.

Source: pinterest.com

3. The “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things.”

Source: media.tumblr.com

Pink and green stains on the couch and tables.

“Removable” stickers and “washable” marker coat furniture and walls alike.

Source: expresident

And sand in every crevice of every room.

4. The “Psychological Torture.”

Look at this soul crushing device, just sitting there all innocent.

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Just got the kids to sleep? Time for this bastard to wake up.

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Please God, no.

5. The “Adult Supervision Required.”

Source: haiharrystyles.tumblr.com

Is there anything grosser than cookies baked under the heat of a light bulb?

Chemical spills are good for family bonding.

Source: cdn.memegenerator.net

And of course the oven is not a toy…until it is.

Source: x-entertainment.com

6. The “Proto-Pet.”

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These farms are the Trojan Horse of ants; they will escape and infest the entire house.

After paying money to keep the bugs out, the kids will bring them IN.

The disgusting and inaccurately named Sea Monkeys are at least confined.

Source: commons.wikimedia.org