6 Types Of Toys Every Parent Loathes With Their Whole Being

Do not buy these. Unless you hate the parents in question. In which case, by all means proceed.

1. The “Landmines.”

These guys just declared war on bare feet.

Then they barricaded themselves behind these orange knives.

And sprinkled Lite Brite Pegs on the field of battle (the living room).

And GOD. DAMN. LEGOS.

2. The “Vacuum Snacks.”

K’Nex rods and connectors are tasty treats.

As are these guys (the bracelets, not NPH and Craig Ferguson…okay both.)

But the vacuum’s favorite meal will always be Barbie shoes because of the dulcet clatter they make going in.

3. The “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things.”

Pink and green stains on the couch and tables.

“Removable” stickers and “washable” marker coat furniture and walls alike.

And sand in every crevice of every room.

4. The “Psychological Torture.”

Look at this soul crushing device, just sitting there all innocent.

Just got the kids to sleep? Time for this bastard to wake up.

Please God, no.

5. The “Adult Supervision Required.”

Is there anything grosser than cookies baked under the heat of a light bulb?

Chemical spills are good for family bonding.

And of course the oven is not a toy…until it is.

These farms are the Trojan Horse of ants; they will escape and infest the entire house.

After paying money to keep the bugs out, the kids will bring them IN.

The disgusting and inaccurately named Sea Monkeys are at least confined.

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