Why I Can’t Go On BuzzFeed Anymore (In GIFs)

I WANT to, I really do. It’s just too hard.

Every day I crawl out of bed

and get on my computer.

Inevitably a friend has shared a link to a BuzzFeed article.

“26 Ways to Pimp My Grilled Cheese?” Consider yourself clicked.

“I can use an old cookie cutter to make a Velociraptor-shaped grilled cheese?”

Don’t we all.

I read the list and, in general, I’ve either learned something or I’m no worse off than when I started.

But then I reach the end of the article and something happens…

the comments section.

A place where, for no reason, people tear apart the unimportant details of the mostly-for-fun and probably 90s-themed list.

“TECHNICALLY THE SANDWICH IN PICTURE #3 IS A PANINI NOT A GRILLED CHEESE, SO SCREW YOU.”

Sure, that deserves 183 likes.

“ADDING PESTO TO #6 MAKES IT THE EXACT SAME AS A SANDWICH I SAW ON FOOD NETWORK ONCE. #PLAGIARISM #BORED.”

“HOW CAN YOU MAKE A LIST ABOUT PIMPING GRILLED CHEESE WHEN THE US GOVERNMENT IS SHUT DOWN? YOU’RE DESTROYING AMERICAN JOURNALISM.”

“I CAN’T EAT CHEESE, THANKS FOR REMINDING ME. WHY CAN’T YOU MAKE A LIST OF WAYS TO PIMP YOUR TOFU!?”

Oh wait.

Why are people so angry about these articles? It’s out of control

That question was rhetorical. Don’t you go NEAR the comments section on this one.

I know it’s common knowledge that comment sections are the gutter of the Internet,

Looking at you, YouTube.

but if you become infuriated every time someone reminds you that “Doug” existed

STOP. CLICKING. THAT. LINK.

So I implore you: The next time you feel the need to make a comment on a story…

For example, the one you’re reading.

Take a deep breath, and ask yourself if what you’re about to write matters…

Or if it is actual garbage spewn out from the belly of a comment-lurking troglodyte getting too emotional about which Ohio amusement park is best.

Because this is what that deserves.

Ok, that’s all for now. BRING ON THE COMMENT SECTION.

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