20 Reasons Why White People Can’t Be Trusted

Besides, you know, thousands of years of human history as evidence.

1. ARE YOU GOING TO TRUST SOMEONE WHO USES A HAMMER LIKE THIS?

2. OR SOMEONE WHO EXERCISES LIKE THIS?

3. HELL NO. AND WHILE WE’RE AT IT, ARE YOU GOING TO TRUST SOMEONE WHO CUTS BREAD WITH A BLOCK OF WOOD?

4. OR THINKS A CD DRIVE IS THEIR OWN PERSONAL DAMN PLAYGROUND?

5. DO YOU THINK IT’S OKAY TO DRINK MILK LIKE THIS?

6. OR EAT A DONUT LIKE THIS?

7. IT’S NOT. IT’S REALLY NOT. YOU THINK IT’S NORMAL FOR A FAMILY TO BE THIS IMPRESSED WITH A DOG TAKING A POO? THIS FAMILY LOOKS LIKE THEY’VE JUST SEEN THE MASTERWORKS OF LEONARDO DA VINCI OR SOME OTHER ITALIAN DUDE.

8. IS IT OKAY FOR SOMEONE TO DISRESPECT A COUCH LIKE THIS? THIS COUCH HAD A FAMILY. NIECES AND NEPHEWS. ALL THAT.

9. ABSOLUTELY NOT. YOU THINK YOU CAN TRUST SOMEONE WHO REACTS TO THE SUN LIKE THIS?

10. OR SOMEONE WHO MAKES A SALAD IN THE DARK? YOU CAN’T MAKE A SALAD IN THE DARK. THERE IS NO WAY. I’VE TRIED.

11. WHAT THE HELL IS EVEN GOING ON HERE? WHAT THE HELL IS THIS. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING.

12. YOU THINK IT’S SAFE TO TRUST SOMEONE WHO PUTS THEIR BABY IN A STRAIT-JACKET LIKE THEY’RE HANNIBAL GODDAMN LECTER?

13. HOW CAN YOU EVEN LISTEN TO SOMEONE WHO TAKES SELFIES LIKE THIS?

14. THIS LADY LITERALLY DRILLED A HOLE IN THE WALL AND A SHELF APPEARED. THEN THE SHELF FELL DOWN. WHAT THE HELL IS EVEN GOING ON? SHELVES DON’T DO THAT. SHELVES HAVE NEVER DONE THAT.

15. DO YOU SEE WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE? THIS GOATEE IS MAKING LOVE TO A PILLOW. TO A PILLOW! PROBABLY ISN’T EVEN GOING TO CALL THE PILLOW BACK.

16. YOU THINK IT’S OKAY TO TRUST SOMEONE WHO DRINKS THEIR BEER WITH A BABY BOTTLE TOP?

17. OR SOMEONE WHO DOWNRIGHT DISRESPECTS THE NEEDS AND WANTS OF THEIR PET LIKE THIS? THIS PET PLOTS OUT HIS OR HER REVENGE EVERY SINGLE DAY. MONDAY THROUGH SUNDAY. CONSTANT SCHEMING.

18. HOW CAN YOU TRUST SOMEONE THAT CAN’T EVEN ELECTROCUTE HIMSELF?

19. THIS LADY CAN’T EVEN USE A SPRAY BOTTLE. A SPRAY BOTTLE JUST GAVE HER A VIOLENT INJURY. THIS LADY JUST TOOK SEVERAL YEARS OFF HER LIFE BECAUSE OF A SPRAY BOTTLE. I PRAY FOR HER. I PRAY FOR ALL OF YOU.

20. AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE THIRD ARM.

HELL NO.

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