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33 Reasons Why Humanity Is Doomed

It’s over.

1. Because we can’t rember anything:

2. Because teens:

3. Because this is considered “breaking news”:

4. Because of questions like this:

5. And people like this:

7. Because of brilliant ideas like this:

9. Because of comments like this:

10. Because of terrifying things like this:

11. Because of students like this:

12. Because of history majors like this:

13. Because of book connoisseurs like this:

14. Because Ashley:

16. Because are there birds in Canada?:

17. Because some people have no ideas how birthdays work:

18. Because no one can figure out milk anymore:

19. Because our only police officer is this guy:

20. Because of people who think that’s what the 4th of July is about:

21. Because of activists like this:

22. Because of studies like this:

23. Because of Norwegian teens:

24. Seriously what is up with Norwegian teens?

25. Because this kid will run for office some day:

27. Because this is the greatest threat facing our nation:

28. Because of Barraco Barner:

29. Because of observations like this:

30. Because of urgent scientific questions like this:

31. Because are you kidding me?

32. Because of mind-blowing discoveries like this:

Good-bye, sweet world.

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