2.
THE ONLY ICE CREAM WORTH EATING. 50 SCOOPS, PLEASE:
3.
OUR PROTECTOR-IN-CHIEF TAKING ONE FOR THE TEAM:
4.
PRIME NUMBERS. PRIME NUMBERS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AND WILL ALWAYS BE AMERICAN:
5.
THE AMERICAN CALENDAR:
6.
THIS BEAUTIFUL INSTANCE OF DIVINE AUTOCORRECT INTERVENTION:
7.
COLBERT DEMONSTRATING WHAT AMERICA'S GREATEST GIFT IS:
8.
LOOKING LIKE THIS EVERY TIME THE NATIONAL ANTHEM COMES ON:
9.
THIS GRAPH BLEEDS AMERICA. 12-0:
10.
OUR KITCHEN CABINET IS A LARGE BODY OF WATER:
11.
DISEASE DOESN'T EXIST IN AMERICA:
12.
THIS ESSAY WORD COUNT. WHY WOULD YOU WRITE ANYTHING LESS PATRIOTIC:
13.
FEEDING THE CHILDREN:
14.
THE PERFECT BILLBOARD COMBO. I KNOW WHAT I'M HAVING FOR DINNER:
15.
THE ONLY RATING SCALE WITH WHICH YOU CAN PROPERLY RATE AMERICA:
16.
THE PERFECT BEDTIME STORY AKA A DRAMATIC RETELLING OF THE CLASSIC FILM THE PATRIOT:
17.
THE CHILDREN LEARNING WHAT THEY NEED TO LEARN:
18.
THE ULTIMATE ONE ON ONE GAME:
19.
THE ONLY JOKE THAT MATTERS:
20.
THIS GORGEOUS FLAG MADE OUT OF AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE EXPORT:
21.
AN AUSTRALIAN LEARNING WHAT AMERICA IS ALL ABOUT:
22.
HOW HARRY POTTER WOULD'VE ENDED IN AMERICA:
23.
ALWAYS BEING AT THE TOP OF THE ALPHABETICAL LIST OF COUNTRIES. THAT'S AMERICAN AS HELL:
24.
THIS LIST STRAIGHT FROM KOREAN STUDENTS LEARNING ENGLISH ABROAD:
25.
HULK HOGAN GIVING THE SOVIET FLAG A HEAD SANDWICH:
26.
USING THE RIGHT FORM OF "THEY'RE." DOESN'T GET MUCH MORE AMERICAN THAN THAT:
27.
SLEEPING LIKE THIS EVERY SINGLE NIGHT:
28.
OL' TOMMY J WRITING THE GREATEST BREAKUP LETTER EVER:
29.
THE BUY ONE, GET ONE FREE OF A LIFETIME: