1.WE ARE ALL WELL-AWARE THE BEYONCÉ HAS BEEN SPREADING ILLUMINATI DOCTRINE SINCE DAY ONE. 2014 HAS BEEN NO EXCEPTION:
2.BUT YOU'D BE A FOOL IF YOU THOUGHT THAT ONLY SHE WAS IN ON IT. TAKE A CLOSE LOOK AT HER HUSBAND:
3.BUT THE 2014 ILLUMINATI TAKEOVER SPREADS FAR BEYOND MUSIC'S ROYAL COUPLE. TAKE A LOOK AT TAYLOR SWIFT:
4.REMEMBER THE DARK HORSE MUSIC VIDEO? DID YOU EVEN HAVE YOUR EYES OPEN?
5.REMEMBER IGGY AZALEA? REMEMBER THIS? DIDN'T THINK SO:
6.AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON MUSIC'S OTHER ROYAL COUPLE:
7.SORRY:
8.BUT YOU'D BE A FOOL TO THINK THAT MUSIC IS THE ONLY INDUSTRY COMPLETELY RUN BY THE ILUMANIT:
9.MOVIES... TV... ALL PUPPETS:
10.YOU THINK FOOTBALL IS JUST A GAME? THINK AGAIN:
11.EYES NOT COMPLETELY OPEN YET? EYES, LIKE, HALFWAY OPEN? 3/4? YOU GET A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP LAST NIGHT? WELL TAKE A CLOSE LOOK AND FIND OUT EXACTLY WHY LEBRON CAME HOME:
12.HOW ARE YOU GOING TO LOOK AT THE CATCH OF THE YEAR AND TELL ME THE ILAMNITY DOESN'T EXIST?
13.THE SIGNS HAVE BEEN THERE ALL ALONG. ALL YEAR LONG WE'VE BEEN GIVING HINTS ABOUT OUR NEW WORLD LEADERS:
14.FROM A YOUNG AGE YOU'VE SEEN THE SIGNS:
15.THEY'VE BEEN EVERYWHERE. BUT THIS YEAR THEY HAVE BECOME FAR TOO CLEAR:
16.OPEN YOUR EYES, SHEEPLE. OPEN YOUR EYES:
17.THE ILAMNACKY HAVE INFILTRATED EVERY ASPECT OF OUR LIVES THIS YEAR. EVEN THAT ANNOYING PART OF MAKING YOUR BED:
18.YOUR CLOTHES ARE NOT SAFE IN 2014. NOTHING IS SAFE:
19.YOU THINK YOUR TANGLED HEADPHONES ARE SAFE THIS YEAR? HAHAHAHAHAHA:
20.BREAD? HELL, BREAD IS THE MOST ILLUMAMABANATI COLLECTION OF GRAINS YOU CAN EAT:
21.REMEMBER THE FLAPPING BIRD? WELL, HE OR SHE FLAPPED HIS OR HER WAY RIGHT TO THE TOP OF THE DANG PYRAMID:
22.HOW YOU GONNA COME IN THIS POST, ONTO THIS ARTICLE AND TELL ME MAC AND ITS FRIEND CHEESE AREN'T WORKING WITH THE DEVIL?
23.REMEMBER PEARS? YOU KNOW, PEARS FROM THE '90S? FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? REMEMBER THE PEARS? WELL, NOW YOU'LL NEVER FORGET:
24.CORN... MY OLD FRIEND CORN. I REMEMBER WHEN THEY FIRST INVENTED CORN. JUST A COG IN THE ALUMANOOPY MACHINE:
25.PENGUINS... YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD TRUST PENGUINS. "HEY, PENGUIN," YOU'D SAY, "WILL YOU OFFICIATE MY VOW RENEWAL CEREMONY?" WELL:
26.OBAMA BEEN ACTIN' A LITTLE WEIRD THIS YEAR? HERE'S WHY. JUST LOOK CLOSELY...
MOLECULAR PROOF NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU CHUMPS? CHECK OUT THIS EXCLUSIVE CONVERSATION:
27.YOU GOT A LAMP? HEY, YOU. YOU GOT A LAMP? YOU A LAMP MAN? WHAT'S UP, LAMP MAN. WELL, IN 2014 LAMPS BECAME UNSAFE:
28.YOU KNOW MONEY? YOU REMEMBER IT? REMEMBER MONEY? I HARDLY DO. BUT TAKE A LOOK AT A MONEY... CLOSELY...
SO OPEN YOUR EYES. KEEP THEM OPEN. OPEN YOUR MOUTH TOO I GUESS. IT'S 2014, THE ILLUMANANA HAVE TAKEN OVER. NEVER BE AFRAID TO SPEAK YOUR MIND:
