29 Reminders That The Illuminati Is Ready To Take Over Any Second

WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD, SHEEPLE.

1. LET’S START SIMPLE. IGGY AZALEA? ILLUMINATI. JUST LOOK AT THAT EYE:

2. YOU THINK ICE CREAM SANDWICHES ARE SAFE? SWEET, DELICIOUS ICED CREAM? THINK AGAIN:

3. PYTHAGORAS IS GREEK FOR “ILLUMINATI”:

4. I BET YOU’RE SITTING THERE LOOKING AT THIS THINKING SOMETHING LIKE “I BET DUCKS ARE SAFE. DUCKS HAVE TO BE SAFE.” WELL, THINK AGAIN, YA KNUCKLEHEAD:

5. AS IF YOU NEEDED TO BE TOLD SOCKS WITH SANDALS WAS ILLUMINATI:

6. HAM STACKED ON A PYRAMID SHAPE? WELL, WELL, WELL. WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE, HAM?

7. BINDER TRAGEDIES? THAT’S THE ILLUMS:

8. KANYE? KANYE?!?!?!?! KAN-YE?!?!?!?!!?!!?!??!?!??!?!??!?!?!?

9. OBAMA? ILLUMINATI. ARE YOU EVEN SURPRISED?

10. STILL NOT CONVINCED? LET’S GO DEEPER:

11. ELEMENT NUMBER 13, ALUMINUM? YOU BET YOUR REAR END THAT’S ALUMINATY:

12. OLIVE GARDEN BREADSTICKS? WHEN YOU’RE HERE, YOU’RE ILLUMINATI:

13. WEIRD AL? MORE LIKE “WEIRD ALL Y’ALL HAVEN’T NOTICED HE’S ILLUMINATI YET”:

14. STILL NOT CONVINCED? LOOK AT THIS SECRET MESSAGE INSCRIBED ON THE US 25 CENT COIN:

15. THE FAULT IN OUR STARS? YEAH, I’LL TELL YOU WHAT THE FAULT IS. THEY ARE ILLUMINATI:

16. YOUR FAVORITE DISNEY CHANNEL PROGRAMS? ILLUMINATI:

Disney

17. HOW COULD HAVE JOHNNY BRAVO HAVE PREDICTED WINDOWS? I’LL TELL YOU HOW: ILLUMINATI:

18. THE POWERS OF THE MODERN WORLD? ALL ILLUMINATI. JUST LOOK AT THIS DETAILED INFO-GRAPHIC:

19. MORE LIKE “CORN ON THE NEW WORLD ORDER”:

20. WHAT ABOUT BEYONCE? COME ON, YOU ALREADY KNOW THIS ANSWER. JUST LOOK CLOSELY:

21. PAINFULLY CUTE ANIMALS? DON’T TRUST ‘EM:

22. THAT ANNOYING THING THAT HAPPENS TO YOUR SHEET EVERY DAMN NIGHT? YOU ARE SLEEPING ON A BED OF ILLUMINATI:

23. WILLOW PAPE? YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. ILLUMINATI:

24. PEARS ARE LITERALLY IN THE TOP 10 MOST ILLUMINATI THINGS ON THIS GREEN EARTH. TRUST ME:

25. THE SAUCE THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR PIZZA ROLLS EVERY. DAMN. TIME? GIVE THANKS TO THE ‘NATI FOR THAT:

26. NOTHING? THAT’S ILLUMINATI:

27. THAT THING THAT HAPPENS TO YOUR CHARGER RIGHT BEFORE IT GOES? THAT’S ILLUMINATI:

28. ICE CUBES ARRANGED CONVENIENTLY IN THE BOTTOM OF A GLASS OF IDENTIFIED LIQUID? WOW. ISN’T IT CLEAR?

29. WAKE UP SHEEPLE. QUESTION EVERYTHING:

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