1.
NAILS SOLVE EVERY PROBLEM, RIGHT?
2.
HOW CAN YOU EVEN FIND THAT MANY BATTERIES?
3.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, CLOCK? WHO DID THIS TO YOU?
4.
LIFE HACK: SHOOT YOURSELF.
6.
HOSES SHOULD NOT BE DISRESPECTED LIKE THIS:
7.
USE YOUR COMPUTER AS A CHEESE GRATER. JUST DO IT:
8.
NEVER SEEN A HAT IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE? GUESS WHAT: JUST USE TRASH.
10.
HATE YOUR EXPENSIVE GADGET? GUESS WHAT:
11.
CAN'T REACH THAT WALL? WANT TO FALL DOWN THE STAIRS? GOOD NEWS:
12.
WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?
14.
HOW DOES THIS EVEN WORK?
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TOO MUCH HOMEWORK? DON'T FRET:
16.
THIS IS HOW YOU BLOW UP YOUR DAMN KITCHEN:
17.
IT'S OK, COUCH. NO ONE WILL EVER HURT YOU AGAIN:
18.
WANT TO EAT TOOTHPASTE? GUESS WHAT:
19.
CAN'T FOLD A SHIRT? JUST FOLLOW THESE DIRECTIONS:
20.
JUST DIE. YUP, JUST DIE:
21.
TIRED OF DRINKING WATER STRAIGHT FROM PUDDLES LIKE THE ANIMAL YOU ARE? WELL:
23.
JUST LEARNED HOW TO BATHE? I GOT YOU COVERED:
24.
LOOKING TO POISON YOUR FRIENDS?
THIS ONE, THOUGH. THIS ONE MAKES PERFECT SENSE: