1. First off, they were born in 2000 or 2001 and they’re graduating in 2018. They’re the class of 2018.
2. They’ve never lived in a world with monthly texting limits.
3. The lyric “shake it like a Polaroid picture” has no meaning to them.
4. They never knew a Destiny’s Child with four members. They probably don’t know Destiny’s Child at all.
5. The Motorola Razr is a museum artifact:
6. Star Wars has never been a trilogy.
7. Eminem could without a doubt be their dad.
8. Or, you know, one of the dudes from Hanson could be their dad.
9. If you say, “You sound like a broken record,” chances are they won’t understand you.
10. This sound has no meaning:
11. They’ve been alive for 47 albums of Now That’s What I Call Music!
12. The Backstreet Boys and NSYNC have been bands longer than they’ve been alive.
13. And there’s no way they understand this reference:
14. They don’t understand where the shutter sound your phone makes when it takes a picture comes from.
15. They have always had to accept Crocs as reality.
16. They’ve never experienced the crippling fear that comes with picking a top 8:
17. They’ve never had the crushing realization that their disposable camera pictures didn’t come out well.
18. They live in a world where they can hear Blink-182 on a classic rock station.
19. This building has no meaning to them:
20. The song “Waterfalls” by TLC is older than they are.
21. So is the song “All Star” by Smash Mouth, for better or worse.
22. They live in a post-Sisqó world.
23. They were born the same year the Playstation 2 and Gameboy Advance came out.
24. THEY’RE THE CLASS OF 2018.
25. And some of them were born the same year the first Apple stores opened.
26. You can say with 100% confidence that you have MP3s older than they are.
27. One of those MP3s could be “…Baby One More Time.”
28. They’ll never know the LIE that was “anti-skip” technology on a CD player.
29. This storefront doesn’t remind them of anything:
30. None of these names mean anything to them:
Chad Michael Murray
The “Dell” Dude
31. They’ve never lived in a world with Squeeze-Its, Surge, Orbitz, Magic Middles Tan M&M’s, or these bad boys:
32. They’ve always had GPS and have never had to look up directions and print them out.
33. “Roll down your window” has no meaning.
34. Neither does “don’t touch that dial.”
35. They’ve never had a late-night AIM chat interrupted by someone yelling “get off the internet, I need to use the phone!”
36. They’ve never had to untangle a phone cord, straighten an antenna for TV reception, and they probably have no clue what’s happening in this picture:
37. The WWE was never the WWF.
38. They can measure how old they are by saying they’re about four Shrek movies old.
39. Or by saying they’re about the same age as this episode:
40. They have always been forced to accept the harsh reality of the Black Eyed Peas.
41. THEY’RE. THE. CLASS. OF. 2018.
42. “Wardrobe malfunction” doesn’t mean anything.
43. Clay Aiken is just some dude running for Congress.
44. If you asked what brings the boys to the yard, they’d have no idea how to answer that question.
45. Paris Hilton was never popular.
46. They were never forced to look at frosted tips everywhere they went.
47. Leonardo DiCaprio has never been the guy in this picture:
48. They have only been alive for three Harry Potter books.
49. “Darrin’s Dance Grooves” holds no meaning.
50. Beanie Babies were never seen as a gold mine to them.
51. They’ve never had the struggle of picking between Kazaa and Limewire.
52. And chances are they have never burned a CD.
53. The Spice Girls are just some middle-aged British women.
54. They’ve never experienced the frustration of trying to record your favorite songs from the radio to a tape, only to have the DJ start talking and ruin everything.
55. They’ve never heard the wise words of Mr. Feeny.
56. Joseph Gordon-Levitt was never this little dude:
57. They’re as old as Monster’s Inc, Osmosis Jones, The Emperor’s New Groove, Jimmy Neutron, and Spy Kids.
58. Oh, yeah, and they’re THE CLASS OF TWENTY EIGHTEEN. 2018. THE DAMN FUTURE.
- Two people on a civilian airplane were killed in a mid-air collision with a military jet in South Carolina. The F-16 jet pilot was ejected and is "in good shape."
- Subway has suspended Jared Fogle, the weight-loss guy from their commercials, due to an FBI investigation.
- Bounce TV and BET will no longer air series featuring Bill Cosby after court records showed he admitted to buying sedatives to give to women.