1.
Because you didn't make this mistake:
2.
Because you know a tomato when you see it:
3.
Because you didn't make this grave error:
4.
Because your fingers are free:
5.
Because you know a good period when you see it:
6.
Because you know a fan when you see it:
7.
Because you didn't tear your... uhhhh:
8.
Because this didn't happen to you:
9.
Because you didn't immortalize this search forever:
10.
Because you didn't tell your friend this:
11.
Because you aren't trying to get a pug pregnant:
12.
Because you didn't get caught like this:
13.
Because you didn't take on the wrong new world order:
14.
Because you're not saving anyone from boredom:
15.
Because you understand how texting works:
16.
Because you didn't do this:
17.
Because you know what a map is:
18.
Because you are familiar with time:
19.
And because you're still allowed in Panera: