1. I will not date so many pillow princesses.
2014 is the year of making sure you come first ;)
2. I will stop dressing like Kristen Stewart.
It may not have been deliberate but look in the mirror and tell us we’re wrong.
3. I promise myself I’ll be more adventurous in the bedroom.
Maybe google some activities before you try and wing it.
4. I won’t come between my girlfriend and her ex when they fight.
So much nope.
5. I won’t care about what my homophobic aunt thinks.
Oh look, I’m all out of fucks to give.
6. I will finally throw away stuff that reminds me of my ex girlfriend.
You’ll feel so much better when you throw away the t shirt she loved.
7. I won’t stay up late on Youtube watching videos in a foreign language just because lesbians are in it.
Allow yourself just one clip of Los Hombres De Paco a day.
8. I will find new music and stop listening to Tegan and Sara on repeat.
Pick something that makes your feel sexy and empowered.
9. I will stop obsessing over the girl on my train who might be gay.
Maybe she is and maybe she isn’t but you will have to keep guessing forever unless you talk to her.
10. I will stop wasting time at work on cat gifs.
It might be time to cut yourself off.
11. Or I will just save them all for the weekend.
Try not to overdose on them though.
12. I will not hook up with any more of my friends.
It’s not a good idea, yes it’s tempting but just stop it.
13. I will not hook up with any more of my exes.
Again, it’s for your own good.
14. I will try to go on more than three dates before calling someone my girlfriend.
And maybe leave until at least a month before you say ‘I love you’.
15. I will find one new girl bar and actually go there.
Don’t be nervous, you’ll make new friends!
16. I will be braver and stop waiting for other girls to make the first move.
The worst that can happen is she crushes your soul in front the whole bar, right?