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1. I will not date so many pillow princesses.
2. I will stop dressing like Kristen Stewart.
3. I promise myself I'll be more adventurous in the bedroom.
4. I won't come between my girlfriend and her ex when they fight.
5. I won't care about what my homophobic aunt thinks.
6. I will finally throw away stuff that reminds me of my ex girlfriend.
7. I won't stay up late on Youtube watching videos in a foreign language just because lesbians are in it.
8. I will find new music and stop listening to Tegan and Sara on repeat.
9. I will stop obsessing over the girl on my train who might be gay.
10. I will stop wasting time at work on cat gifs.
11. Or I will just save them all for the weekend.
12. I will not hook up with any more of my friends.
13. I will not hook up with any more of my exes.
14. I will try to go on more than three dates before calling someone my girlfriend.
15. I will find one new girl bar and actually go there.
16. I will be braver and stop waiting for other girls to make the first move.
17. I will get over my absolutely fanatic, manic, obsessive use of Dattch.com
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