1. The pre prep.
Where else were you going to have the chance to wear fabulous sequined outfits?
You’ve got 10 Bar Mitzvahs coming up. Can’t outfit-repeat. Everyone will know.
Max Greenfield’s (from New Girl) Bar Mitzvah photo. Hottie!
4. Listening to all of the beautiful prayers.
5. The suspense of not knowing if the Bar or Bat Mitzvah kid was gonna drop the Torah.
6. Riding a bus from the temple to the reception.
7. Getting to go to a fancy place you wouldn’t normally have access to.
Tonight you are royalty.
8. Writing something mischievous on the signature board.
“Congrats you’re a man now…love Uncle Buttfarts” hehehe he’ll NEVER know it was me!
11. Awkwardly slow-dancing with your crush to NSYNC’s “God Must Have Spent a Little More Time on You.”
SO many designs to choose from…such a dilemma!
Then getting to rock your shirt to school on Monday and being like, “Heck yeah I partied hard this weekend.”
13. The endless candy.
Better than an open bar.
15. Cakes that were the most beautiful pieces of art you had ever seen.
17. Watching the video montage and getting really excited if a picture of you showed up.
There was nothing more gratifying then seeing your face on screen followed by cheers.
19. Feeling all fancy and proper because your name was on a place card.
This was also a good way to determine your relationship with the B’Mitzvah kid. If you were sitting at his/her table…BFF status!
21. Getting called up to light a candle and feeling like a boss.
22. Watching the Bar/Bat Mitzvah kid’s relatives freak out when they got lifted in the chair.
And sometimes there’s a spill.
23. The cool DJ and dancers.
They were the second best thing to hanging out with rock stars.
Who could have been Paul Rudd.
FUN FACT: He was a Bar Mitzvah DJ
25. Doing organized dances.
You still know all the moves to “Cotton Eye Joe,” “The Electric Slide,” “The Cha-Cha Slide” (two hops this time!), and the “Cupid Shuffle.”
26. Going solo and getting to show off all your sweet dance moves to Pink’s “Get This Party Started.”
All eyes were on you. This was your time to shine.
27. The dance-floor games.
You were very competitive when it came to Limbo, Coke & Pepsi and freeze dance. You also pushed mad bitches in musical chairs.
Everyone wants to get their hands on that sweet, sweet swag.
But most importantly…GLOWSTICKS!!!
Those bad boys lasted forever if you put them in the freezer, and it was a sad day when they lost their glow.
29. Watching kids from your school dirty dance to “Peaches and Cream” by 112.
31. It was all free!!
Well, minus the $18 gift card to Towers Records you gave as a gift. But not a bad deal at all.
Brought to you by Boys to Menorah
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