1. Trader Joe’s is more than a grocery store. It is a tiki/trader-themed grocery experience.
As in, “Trader” Joe travels around the world looking for delicious things…
2. Where you’ll always receive a royal welcome.
Full disclosure: You’ll most likely only get lei’d if you’re at one of their stores on its opening day.
3. They sell lots of random but excellent products that you didn’t know existed, but end up buying…
4. …and then buying again every time you go.
5. You’d be surprised how fast sweet coconut snacks become essential to your very existence.
6. TJ’s also carries lots of things that seem obvious in retrospect, but that somehow no one else has.
Just another amazing way to eat PB&J.
7. Admit it, you find their in-store marketing endearing.
Flying bagels would be awesome.
8. Whoever comes up with their product names should seriously consider competing at Punderdome.
9. You could probably survive on their nut butters alone.
10. AND: COOKIE BUTTER. Butter, made of GROUND COOKIES.
There is currently a limit of two per customer. Seriously.
11. They know that good things become great things when they’re covered in chocolate.
13. And bananas. Chocolate is an equal-opportunity coating at Trader Joe’s.
15. OK, so it’s technically three bucks, but, still…
17. Not a wino? That’s cool, there’s craft beer too.
19. Trader Joe-San, Trader Giotto, and Trader Jacques.
Actually kind of amazing that no one has called out how un-PC this is.
20. It’s the little things, like the charming bell they use to make announcements instead of a P.A. system.
21. And if you’re ever overwhelmed by the sheer volume of edible awesomeness, the employees are absurdly helpful.
22. Why so nice? Probably because Trader Joe’s pays staff members really well. Another plus.
According to this 2010 CNN Money article, Trader Joe’s full-time crew members (the people that stock the shelves, ring up and bag groceries, and help customers in the aisles) can earn starting salaries between $40,000-$60,000 a year with benefits. Also, “Trader Joe’s annually contributes 15.4% of employees’ gross income to tax-deferred retirement accounts. By industry standards, that is A LOT.