Proof Super Smash Bros. Is Secretly Just One Giant, Weird Nintendo Orgy

Whatever you do, DON’T PRESS THE PAUSE BUTTON, PEOPLE.

1. These Nintendo characters are all secretly trying to smash each other THE WHOLE TIME WHILE YOU’RE PLAYING:

Nintendo / Via youtube.com

2. Executing sex positions in the air is the norm:

Nintendo / Via youtube.com

3. And subtle fingering HAPPENS ALL THE TIME:

Nintendo / Via youtube.com

4. Some choose to use a gentle prod:

Nintendo / Via youtube.com

5. While others choose to go in four fingers deep:

Nintendo / Via youtube.com

6. EVEN FISTING HAPPENS:

Nintendo / Via youtube.com

7. And everyone is always in everyone’s crotchal area:

Nintnedo / Via youtube.com

8. Animals on animals:

9. Pokémon on humans:

Nintendo / Via youtube.com

10. Humans on humans:

Nintendo / Via youtube.com

11. EVERYONE HAS SOMEONE ON THEIR CROTCH:

Nintendo / Via youtube.com

12. Beating off opponents brings upon a whole different meaning in this game:

13. Which apparently is Falco’s favorite:

Nintendo / Via youtube.com

14. Girls are more experimental than ever:

Nintendo / Via youtube.com

16. Especially Zelda and Peach:

Nintendo / Via youtube.com

17. SERIOUSLY, IS THIS COLLEGE?

Nintendo / Via youtube.com

18. Meanwhile the guys are busy going down on each other:

Nintendo / Via youtube.com

19. Especially Snake:

Nintendo / Via youtube.com

21. Who obviously does lots of lunges:

Nintendo / Via forums.khinsider.com

22. Public areas aren’t off limits to fornicate in:

Nintendo / Via youtube.com

23. Like you have robots and elves intertwined on ships:

Nintendo / Via youtube.com

24. You have a princess enjoying a gorilla’s banana in the clouds:

Nintendo / Via youtube.com

25. And then you have BROTHERS playing with each other’s plumbing in front of a castle:

Nintendo / Via youtube.com

26. BROTHERS:

Nintendo / Via youtube.com

27. WEIRD SEX IS HAPPENING EVERYWHERE:

Nintendo / Via youtube.com

28. EVEN ON ICEBERGS:

Nintendo / Via youtube.com

29. SERIOUSLY THIS GAME IS JUST ONE MASSIVE ORGY:

Nintendo / Via youtube.com

30. Case closed.

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