These Nintendo characters are all secretly trying to smash each other THE WHOLE TIME WHILE YOU'RE PLAYING:
Executing sex positions in the air is the norm:
And subtle fingering HAPPENS ALL THE TIME:
Some choose to use a gentle prod:
While others choose to go in four fingers deep:
EVEN FISTING HAPPENS:
And everyone is always in everyone's crotchal area:
Animals on animals:
Pokémon on humans:
Humans on humans:
EVERYONE HAS SOMEONE ON THEIR CROTCH:
Beating off opponents brings upon a whole different meaning in this game:
Which apparently is Falco's favorite:
Girls are more experimental than ever:
Especially Zelda and Peach:
SERIOUSLY, IS THIS COLLEGE?
Meanwhile the guys are busy going down on each other:
Especially Snake:
Who obviously does lots of lunges:
Public areas aren't off limits to fornicate in:
Like you have robots and elves intertwined on ships:
You have a princess enjoying a gorilla's banana in the clouds:
And then you have BROTHERS playing with each other's plumbing in front of a castle:
BROTHERS:
WEIRD SEX IS HAPPENING EVERYWHERE:
EVEN ON ICEBERGS:
SERIOUSLY THIS GAME IS JUST ONE MASSIVE ORGY:
Case closed.
