27 People Who Would Rather Michael Owen Didn’t Commentate On Football

Michael Owen picks up a microphone and starts a Twitter trend.

The new Premier League season started up today, with Liverpool kicking off the year with a match against Stoke. Broadcast newcomers BT Sport were given the first game of the season, and Ian Darke was joined by former pro Michael Owen to commentate on the match.

3. Twitter was not happy.

Ordinarily, trending on Twitter is a good thing. But football fans can be fickle and cruel - and the Twittersphere was both about the Liverpudlian.

If E=Mc2 then MichaelOwen=1boringTurd

— 1ProudMCFCfan (@I Was There...)

Choice between a stream with American commentators or Michael Owen. Absolute hell

— samcarrrrrrrr (@Sam Carr)

Michael Owen must be one of the most annoying people on earth. Why does he not shut up! I have heard him use every superlative possible!

— Cornelimar (@Neil Dorganio)

Tony Pulis, Michael Owen, and Steve McManaman on the panel for BT. Hitler would've been a more popular choice I reckon!

— maxkersh (@Max Kersh)

Bloodsucking BT leech Michael Owen is so boring, tapes of his commentary are used to torture terror suspects by the CIA.

— Premier_Facts (@Premier Facts)

Michael Owen - if only his commentary was as good as his old Liverpool performances.

— Fras_Russell (@Fraser Russell)

Michael Owen. Basically the boring uncle you try to avoid at parties.

— DDegea1 (@David De Gea)

Michael Owen, in his first attempt to win over the viewers of BT TV, cheerily admits he used to dive all the time. Hmm.

— simon_price01 (@Simon Price)

Michael Owen has one of those voices that you'd hear in Thomas The Tank Engine!

— lukejohnston87 (@Luke Johnston)

Michael Owen getting an absolute pasting on here. Haha. He sounds like a wasp trapped in a bottle.

— designstranger (@Patrick Thomas)

16. The insults became personal, mocking Owen’s propensity as a player towards injury (caused by his commitment to the game).

Only a matter of time before Michael Owen is out for 3 months with a 'swollen voice box' or 'tonsillitis' #sicknote

— R_Harrison17 (@Ryan.)

RT @SunDeanScoggins: Will this be the first time in three years that @themichaelowen has lasted 90 minutes in a Prem game?? << Ha ha!

— FluffsSays (@Fluffs)

19. Within minutes, the humble hashtag #MichaelOwenFacts had sprung up, trying to encapsulate Owen’s on-mic performance in relevant facts about his life.

Michael Owen loves crosswords but thinks sudoku is 'a bit too fancy' #MichaelOwenFacts

— kiad_ (@Marcus B Fantasticus)

Michael Owen once read his children Harry Potter dressed up as Dumbledore #MichaelOwenFacts

— MichaelOwenFact (@Michael Owen Facts)

Michael Owen is the reason Sleeping Beauty first fell asleep. #MichaelOwenFacts

— MichaelOwenFact (@Michael Owen Facts)

Michael Owen rang up his service provider to put the parental lock on #MichaelOwenFacts

— Jay_Roberts89 (@Jay Roberts)

Michael Owen stops at all the red lights on Grand Theft Auto #MichaelOwenFacts

— FuckTobias_ (@Tobias)

On a wild saturday night, Michael Owen has 2 sugars in his tea instead of 1. #MichaelOwenFacts

— MrEdwardL (@Edward Lloyd)

Michael Owen once had an argument with a Sat Nav #MichaelOwenFacts

— MichaelOwenFact (@Michael Owen Facts)

@TSBible Michael Owen never walks back to a dead firework #MichaelOwenFacts

— Gseward (@Greg Seward)

Michael Owen enjoys the smell of a new tennis ball. Rumours have it that it is even his favourite smell. #MichaelOwenFacts

— JFosberry (@Jack Fosberry)

Michael Owen plans his dinners 3 weeks in advance #MichaelOwenFacts

— kiad_ (@Marcus B Fantasticus)

30. Even Paddy Power got in on the (cruel) action.

How boring is Michael Owen? When this match is over he'll probably go home and spend his evening playing Farmville.

— paddypower (@Paddy Power)

Michael Owen sitting on his arse for the first game of the Premier League, nothing new there.

— paddypower (@Paddy Power)

Michael Owen never ejects a USB stick until it is safe to do so.

— paddypower (@Paddy Power)

34. Others were kinder, though. Michael Owen, it turns out, may be a bit like Marmite. You either love him or hate him.

Decent commentary, Michael Owen a good commentator, like the player cam, good pundits, and live comment from a PL referee - well done BT

— ACWilloughby (@Adam C. Willoughby)

Nice to have a commentator that actually knows what they are talking about for a change @themichaelowen doing a good job and talking sense!

— m_summerhayes (@Mike Summerhayes)

Quite like @themichaelowen giving analysis on the strikers though, really interesting points #BTSport

— SiPartoCoach (@Simon Partington)

To be fair Michael Owen ain't a bad commentator

— AdeAdeyemi96 (@Ade)

39. Michael Owen ought not to mind, though. He had an incredibly prolific football career, and is now a champion racehorse owner.

40. He probably has more money than all of us put together.

41. Plus he did this in 1998, so frankly, we’re all in his debt.

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