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27 People Who Would Rather Michael Owen Didn’t Commentate On Football

Michael Owen picks up a microphone and starts a Twitter trend.

The new Premier League season started up today, with Liverpool kicking off the year with a match against Stoke. Broadcast newcomers BT Sport were given the first game of the season, and Ian Darke was joined by former pro Michael Owen to commentate on the match.

3. Twitter was not happy.

Ordinarily, trending on Twitter is a good thing. But football fans can be fickle and cruel - and the Twittersphere was both about the Liverpudlian.


Mark Thompson

@MarkyThompson

As much as I like him, Michael Owen isn’t the greatest commentator out there.

/ Via

Craig Hughes

@Badgerous1

Hi, @BTSport, do you have an alternative commentary to Ian Darke & Michael Owen please? The Chuckle Brothers perhaps?

/ Via

If E=Mc2 then MichaelOwen=1boringTurd

— 1ProudMCFCfan (@I Was There...)

I Was There…

@1ProudMCFCfan

If E=Mc2 then MichaelOwen=1boringTurd

/ Via

Choice between a stream with American commentators or Michael Owen. Absolute hell

— samcarrrrrrrr (@Sam Carr)

Sam Carr

@samcarrrrrrrr

Choice between a stream with American commentators or Michael Owen. Absolute hell

/ Via

Michael Owen must be one of the most annoying people on earth. Why does he not shut up! I have heard him use every superlative possible!

— Cornelimar (@Neil Dorganio)

Neil Dorganio

@Cornelimar

Michael Owen must be one of the most annoying people on earth. Why does he not shut up! I have heard him use every superlative possible!

/ Via

Tony Pulis, Michael Owen, and Steve McManaman on the panel for BT. Hitler would've been a more popular choice I reckon!

— maxkersh (@Max Kersh)

Max Kersh

@maxkersh

Tony Pulis, Michael Owen, and Steve McManaman on the panel for BT. Hitler would’ve been a more popular choice I reckon!

/ Via

Bloodsucking BT leech Michael Owen is so boring, tapes of his commentary are used to torture terror suspects by the CIA.

— Premier_Facts (@Premier Facts)

Premier Facts

@Premier_Facts

Bloodsucking BT leech Michael Owen is so boring, tapes of his commentary are used to torture terror suspects by the CIA.

/ Via

Michael Owen - if only his commentary was as good as his old Liverpool performances.

— Fras_Russell (@Fraser Russell)

Fraser Russell

@Fras_Russell

Michael Owen - if only his commentary was as good as his old Liverpool performances.

/ Via

Michael Owen. Basically the boring uncle you try to avoid at parties.

— DDegea1 (@David De Gea)

David De Gea

@DDegea1

Michael Owen. Basically the boring uncle you try to avoid at parties.

/ Via

Michael Owen, in his first attempt to win over the viewers of BT TV, cheerily admits he used to dive all the time. Hmm.

— simon_price01 (@Simon Price)

Simon Price

@simon_price01

Michael Owen, in his first attempt to win over the viewers of BT TV, cheerily admits he used to dive all the time. Hmm.

/ Via

Michael Owen has one of those voices that you'd hear in Thomas The Tank Engine!

— lukejohnston87 (@Luke Johnston)

Luke Johnston

@lukejohnston87

Michael Owen has one of those voices that you’d hear in Thomas The Tank Engine!

/ Via

Michael Owen getting an absolute pasting on here. Haha. He sounds like a wasp trapped in a bottle.

— designstranger (@Patrick Thomas)

Patrick Thomas

@designstranger

Michael Owen getting an absolute pasting on here. Haha. He sounds like a wasp trapped in a bottle.

/ Via

16. The insults became personal, mocking Owen’s propensity as a player towards injury (caused by his commitment to the game).

Only a matter of time before Michael Owen is out for 3 months with a 'swollen voice box' or 'tonsillitis' #sicknote

— R_Harrison17 (@Ryan.)

Ryan.

@R_Harrison17

Only a matter of time before Michael Owen is out for 3 months with a ‘swollen voice box’ or ‘tonsillitis’ #sicknote

/ Via

RT @SunDeanScoggins: Will this be the first time in three years that @themichaelowen has lasted 90 minutes in a Prem game?? << Ha ha!

— FluffsSays (@Fluffs)

Fluffs

@FluffsSays

RT @SunDeanScoggins: Will this be the first time in three years that @themichaelowen has lasted 90 minutes in a Prem game?? << Ha ha!

/ Via

19. Within minutes, the humble hashtag #MichaelOwenFacts had sprung up, trying to encapsulate Owen’s on-mic performance in relevant facts about his life.

Michael Owen loves crosswords but thinks sudoku is 'a bit too fancy' #MichaelOwenFacts

— kiad_ (@Marcus B Fantasticus)

Marcus B Fantasticus

@kiad_

Michael Owen loves crosswords but thinks sudoku is ‘a bit too fancy’ #MichaelOwenFacts

/ Via

Michael Owen once read his children Harry Potter dressed up as Dumbledore #MichaelOwenFacts

— MichaelOwenFact (@Michael Owen Facts)

Michael Owen Facts

@MichaelOwenFact

Michael Owen once read his children Harry Potter dressed up as Dumbledore #MichaelOwenFacts

/ Via

Michael Owen is the reason Sleeping Beauty first fell asleep. #MichaelOwenFacts

— MichaelOwenFact (@Michael Owen Facts)

Michael Owen Facts

@MichaelOwenFact

Michael Owen is the reason Sleeping Beauty first fell asleep. #MichaelOwenFacts

/ Via

Michael Owen rang up his service provider to put the parental lock on #MichaelOwenFacts

— Jay_Roberts89 (@Jay Roberts)

Jay Roberts

@Jay_Roberts89

Michael Owen rang up his service provider to put the parental lock on #MichaelOwenFacts

/ Via

Michael Owen stops at all the red lights on Grand Theft Auto #MichaelOwenFacts

— FuckTobias_ (@Tobias)

Tobias

@FuckTobias_

Michael Owen stops at all the red lights on Grand Theft Auto #MichaelOwenFacts

/ Via

On a wild saturday night, Michael Owen has 2 sugars in his tea instead of 1. #MichaelOwenFacts

— MrEdwardL (@Edward Lloyd)

Edward Lloyd

@MrEdwardL

On a wild saturday night, Michael Owen has 2 sugars in his tea instead of 1. #MichaelOwenFacts

/ Via

Michael Owen once had an argument with a Sat Nav #MichaelOwenFacts

— MichaelOwenFact (@Michael Owen Facts)

Michael Owen Facts

@MichaelOwenFact

Michael Owen once had an argument with a Sat Nav #MichaelOwenFacts

/ Via

@TSBible Michael Owen never walks back to a dead firework #MichaelOwenFacts

— Gseward (@Greg Seward)

Greg Seward

@Gseward

@TSBible Michael Owen never walks back to a dead firework #MichaelOwenFacts

/ Via

Michael Owen enjoys the smell of a new tennis ball. Rumours have it that it is even his favourite smell. #MichaelOwenFacts

— JFosberry (@Jack Fosberry)

Jack Fosberry

@JFosberry

Michael Owen enjoys the smell of a new tennis ball. Rumours have it that it is even his favourite smell. #MichaelOwenFacts

/ Via

Michael Owen plans his dinners 3 weeks in advance #MichaelOwenFacts

— kiad_ (@Marcus B Fantasticus)

Marcus B Fantasticus

@kiad_

Michael Owen plans his dinners 3 weeks in advance #MichaelOwenFacts

/ Via

30. Even Paddy Power got in on the (cruel) action.

How boring is Michael Owen? When this match is over he'll probably go home and spend his evening playing Farmville.

— paddypower (@Paddy Power)

Paddy Power

@paddypower

How boring is Michael Owen? When this match is over he’ll probably go home and spend his evening playing Farmville.

/ Via

Michael Owen sitting on his arse for the first game of the Premier League, nothing new there.

— paddypower (@Paddy Power)

Paddy Power

@paddypower

Michael Owen sitting on his arse for the first game of the Premier League, nothing new there.

/ Via

Michael Owen never ejects a USB stick until it is safe to do so.

— paddypower (@Paddy Power)

Paddy Power

@paddypower

Michael Owen never ejects a USB stick until it is safe to do so.

/ Via

34. Others were kinder, though. Michael Owen, it turns out, may be a bit like Marmite. You either love him or hate him.

Decent commentary, Michael Owen a good commentator, like the player cam, good pundits, and live comment from a PL referee - well done BT

— ACWilloughby (@Adam C. Willoughby)

Adam C. Willoughby

@ACWilloughby

Decent commentary, Michael Owen a good commentator, like the player cam, good pundits, and live comment from a PL referee - well done BT

/ Via

Nice to have a commentator that actually knows what they are talking about for a change @themichaelowen doing a good job and talking sense!

— m_summerhayes (@Mike Summerhayes)

Mike Summerhayes

@m_summerhayes

Nice to have a commentator that actually knows what they are talking about for a change @themichaelowen doing a good job and talking sense!

/ Via

Quite like @themichaelowen giving analysis on the strikers though, really interesting points #BTSport

— SiPartoCoach (@Simon Partington)

Simon Partington

@SiPartoCoach

Quite like @themichaelowen giving analysis on the strikers though, really interesting points #BTSport

/ Via

To be fair Michael Owen ain't a bad commentator

— AdeAdeyemi96 (@Ade)

Ade

@AdeAdeyemi96

To be fair Michael Owen ain’t a bad commentator

/ Via

39. Michael Owen ought not to mind, though. He had an incredibly prolific football career, and is now a champion racehorse owner.

40. He probably has more money than all of us put together.

41. Plus he did this in 1998, so frankly, we’re all in his debt.

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