1. First impressions don't always last.
Pride and Prejudice's Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy were the most romantic literary couple since Romeo and Juliet, and they were a hell of a lot more realistic. You probably won't fall in love at first sight, marry and kill yourself for someone within three days, but lbh, a lot of us thought our partners were a little bit shady before we got to know them, then it turned out they just felt to awkward to talk too us.
2. Always support each others' dreams.*
What makes Leslie and Ben's relationship so enviable throughout "Parks and Recreation" is their determination to let the other live their best life. Both make sacrifices to make it easier for the other one to live their dream, and there's never a sense that either one puts their job above their relationship – they just get that part of the thing they love about each other is the drive and passion they put into their work.
*And make mac and cheese pizza.
3. Listening is sexy.
It's not a coincidence that in both the Deathly Hallows film and book, Ron and Hermione's long-awaited first kiss comes minutes after Ron has remembered something Hermione said. In the film, Hermione is wowed when he references something she taught him the previous year and they kiss in the Chamber of Secrets not long after. The books are even more obvious: Hermione jumps Ron in front of everyone after he expresses concern for the House Elves, since you know, she'd been fighting for House Elf Welfare for YEARS, and he finally got the message.
4. Loving your partner means liking their friends.
Carla's putting up with Turk and JD in "Scrubs" makes her a saint and we should all bow down, because honestly, how hard must it be to have that dynamic duo going 24/7? Still, Carla's embracing Turk's lifelong best friend said a lot about her commitment to being a part of his life and her patience and willingness to share his attention was a virtue that doesn't come easy for some.
5. Trust each other.
Confidence is hot, confidence in your partner is even hotter, and Han and Leia are pretty much the poster child for a badass, trusting relationship. They trust each other's skill and ability when it comes to busting the baddies, and their love for each other is maybe the only thing nobody has a bad feeling about.
6. Laugh together, stay together.
When your sense of humour's in sync, it's pretty safe to assume you're on the same page in other aspects of your relationship. Plus in the early days of a relationship, there's no better way to win someone over than by to make them laugh. Tim and Dawn of the "The Office" are the obvious example, since being perfect at pulling off pranks on Gareth pretty much proved they were perfect together in every way. I mean just look at how they look at each other when they're joking around. Pure love.
7. Love each other even when you're at your worst.
Your weird friend will probably not come to you from the future and make you realise how actually perfect they are, like Simon did for Alisha in "Misfits". Still, the lesson stands that Alisha knew Simon's potential, and cut the present Simon some slack and helped him grow, understanding when he didn't always meet her expectations, and lo and behold, this brought them closer together and that's exactly what made him the Simon she fell in love with. We all know how perfect our partner ~can~ be, but it's not really fair to hold them to the highest standard all the time. They need our patience, understanding, and communication to be able to give us what we need.
8. Fight for each other.
In The Hunger Games, Katniss and Peeta literally, physically fight for each other, but more than that, they never give up on each other. Katniss was Peeta's priority from the very beginning, and even when she wasn't sure how she felt about him, getting Peeta through the Games was nonnegotiable for Katniss, too. No matter what state their relationship was in, they always had each other's backs when it came down to the wire.
9. Nobody gets it right all the time.
OK, so Sid and Cassie of "Skins" were a mess, but come on, that's kind of why we were rooting for them. And even though they both made some pretty rookie relationship mistakes (I mean, first young love, it happens), there was some real love there and when push came to shove, Sid chose Cassie over everything else. People mess up, they hurt your feelings, they disappoint you – even the people who love you, and it's nice to remember that the people who love you are human, and you can't expect everything from them all the time, but that love can survive that, too.
10. Someone out there is worth getting your shit together for.
You can't fix people, and they can't fix you, but if there's one thing Charlie taught us when he fell for Claire in "Lost", it's that loving someone can motivate you to be a better person. It won't solve all your problems, but it might be the light at the end of a tunnel that makes you care about solving your problems, and a reason to live is one of the best gifts a loved one can give you.
11. Real life is romantic.
Every love story is valid and meaningful – I mean, the world was on the edge of its seat following the American "Office" for the sweet, but let's be real, pretty perfunctory story of a salesman and secretary who fall in love, get married, and have babies. There was nothing extraordinary about Jim and Pam, except they they were two regular people who liked to be together – and that's why they mattered to us. Because when it comes down to it, all of us regular people just want to meet someone who likes to be around us and thinks we're funny and knows exactly how dumb and annoying every other person in our lives is.
12. Never stop working things out.
So many lessons from Jaime and Claire of "Outlander", whose relationship started as convenience (with some serious sexual tension I'll give you that, I mean HELLO), but became a compelling and well-crafted romance and partnership. What was so satisfying about the development of their relationship is that the show lifted the curtain and revealed a couple that had a connection, but also had a lot of differences to address. We watched them figure it out and fight to get on the same page. They come from different worlds, and they're both insanely stubborn, but they're constantly willing to fight it out, apologise and admit their wrongs, and try to do better by each other.
13. Having a lobster doesn't mean having it easy.
Aside from the major lesson of checking the ground rules of a "break," Ross and Rachel's love story taught us that finding your your true love doesn't make you immune to heartache. In "Friends", the King and Queen of on-again-off-again had to keep living their lives and being who they were, so mistakes and hurt feelings still happened, and happened big enough to make them doubt their feelings for each other a lot of times. Bottom line, even your partner in life can hurt your feelings, and it can take years and lifetimes to get to the point where you're a hundred percent happy with the person you love.
14. Never stop being weird.
April and Andy's nutty relationship throughout "Parks and Recreation" is the best because it's real and bizarre and multifaceted. There's this childlike sense of fun and kookiness that makes them seem immature and unreal, but the facts are that their relationship is so reliable and deeply founded that they get each other for the weird, silly, messy, difficult people that they are, and they make it work for them. Which is actually like, the most grown-up thing you can do when you love a person.
15. You'll grow and change, but you'll do it together.
By the time Glee ended, Kurt and Blaine were completely different characters from when they first met at Dalton Academy, and it reflected in the way they related to each other and everything else, and the changes sometimes caused discord, but ended up making them more sure of their bond. Your partner never stays a snapshot of the person who first made your heart flutter, but when you face life and experiences together, you both change and it brings you closer. Sometimes you miss the person you had a crush on years back, but they've actually been replaced with a person who actually gets you, so I'd call that a win.
16. Forgive each other.
Remember that time when Lily abandoned Marshall and everything was sad and grim? Eight years on nobody on or watching "How I Met Your Mother" seemed to, which is a huge testament to the way Marshall and Lily's relationship strengthened them, and honestly, made them more enviable since they could get through that and love each other even more. One mistake doesn't have to tear a relationship apart if both partners are really committed to coming back from it, and forgiveness really does end in forgetting the whole thing sometimes.
Also, you're going to see each other pee eventually, it's okay.
17. We all do crazy things for love.
"Orange is the New Black" gave us Alex and Piper, the text-book definition of a bad romance. And while you definitely shouldn't stay in something that gets you into emotional and/or legal trouble, we've all been in a toxic relationship or two and it's worth acknowledging that these things happen and just moving right along. Don't be too hard on yourself when love makes you do something crazy (unless it's sneaking into the object of your affection's house and taking a bath, or purposefully getting your lover arrested, you should have a serious talk with yourself about choices like that), but chalk it up to some hard to handle feelings, apologise if you've caused someone trouble, and don't be embarrassed because honestly Piper and Alex have done so much worse.
18. And just because you love someone doesn't make them good for you.
On "Luther" the connection between Luther and Alice is too real, but it's also dangerous – and while that's undeniably sexy, it's not exactly hard to figure out that their complicated relationship is going to land them both in big trouble. Still, it's hard to let go of what you want and everyone has a soft side, but you've got to be careful about falling into a situation neither one of you can save yourself from each other.
19. Do whats right for your relationship.
Corey and Topanga figured out pretty early on in "Boy Meets World" that they were it for each other, but more than knowing they were soulmates, they also trusted did what was best for them and their relationship throughout the series, regardless of their parents and friends opinions. Their choices came down to what made them feel comfortable, even when for Topanga that meant stepping away and reevaluating her feelings for Corey – they really followed their hearts, and in the end, it was beautiful.
20. Always stick up for each other.
In "Veronica Mars", Veronica and Logan, aka The Most Epic, had a hairy past and a pretty rocky relationship, but still, when it came down to the wire, they were always there to save the other one, and that's the quality that stayed put even once they had both grown up and that's the thing that brought them back together in the end.
21. Don't neglect your friendship.
People were nervous when the Monica/Chandler dynamic appeared on "Friends", and fair enough, we didn't need another star-crossed pair making meet ups in Central Perk awkward, and Monica and Chandler's friendship had been a really solid and charming element of the show in its own right, but it turned out fine, because unlike Ross and Rachel, who were never just friends, Chandler and Monica had this great relationship to just keep adding to, and they never replaced their friendship with romance.
22. Your partner has insecurities, too.
Cece is a model and Schmidt is ALL about himself, but the dynamic that makes their relationship in "New Girl" so sweet and root-worthy is the sense that they both need a lot more love than they want to admit, and there's a real vulnerability to both of them despite their put-on confidence – and there's a sense that they recognise that in each other, and it's a lesson worth taking away. Just because your partner acts confident doesn't mean they don't need you.
23. Challenge each other.
Santana and Brittany's relationship overcame a lot of hardships throughout "Glee", and learning to give zero fucks about what people think of your relationship was definitely one of them, but even beyond that, the pair was so good at pushing each other to be better – to be more open and honest, to pursue their dreams, to take risks, and it made them a surprising but truly lovable power couple by the time they got married. These girls got through everything together and kept pushing for more happiness together and apart.
24. Relationships are hard and fun.
Mitchell and Cam of "Modern Family" are super dads and a super adorable couple, and what makes them so impressive is that their relationship has remained so steady throughout the trials of parenting, adopting, getting married, and putting up with their crazy family (and each other). They're another great example of real life being romantic, and proof that the best partner is also a best friend.
25. You've got to learn to love each other's quirks.
Mindy and Danny are both, in their own really special ways, some of the most difficult people on the planet, and definitely th most difficult people on "The Mindy Project". They're particular, bossy, argumentative, egotistical, and they love each other to death. It's great to watch two such headstrong, independent people make a relationship work and genuinely love being around each other despite driving each other crazy sometimes – there's even a sense that the longer they've known each other, the more endearing their difficulties have become to them.
26. Keep each other safe.
In "Pretty Little Liars", Paige was dedicated to sidelining A to keep Emily safe until it wasn't physically possible anymore. After she went to college and offered to come back for Emily, Emily refused because she wanted to be sure Paige didn't get drawn back into the mess. Looking out for your partner is obviously a top relationship goal, but realising when you're bad for them is an even bigger one.
27. Give each other time.
From the moment "The O.C." started, Seth knew, and Summer didn't, but they got there and I mean, just look at the cuteness. Partners aren't always on the same page, and it's worth cutting each other some slack when it comes to making decisions and understanding wants, needs, and shared goals. If it's right, you'll work it out, if it's not, something else will come along.