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19 Dogs Who Long To Go To Their Non-Essential Government Jobs

Get your shit together, Congress. (h/t: @larkreports)

1. “I’m ready to go back to work whenever the government says it’s a-OK.”

2. “I’ve been staring at this keyboard all day. It’s not even attached to anything.”

3. “Mow your lawn? I can mow your lawn. Please let me mow something, anything.”

4. “What’s the point of golfing without a business meeting?”

5. “Do you see any wrinkles on this shirt? I don’t think so. I’m performance-ready.”

6. “They’re not even letting me work remotely.”

7. “Excuse me, sir? Don’t try to go to any national parks today, all right? Just trying to get the word out.”

8. “But I got dressed and I need to open the zoo. I NEED TO OPEN THE ZOO.”

9. “I see you’ve noticed my eyebrows. Have you also noticed my tireless WORK ETHIC?”

10. “Why are you taking me for a walk?! Shouldn’t I be running the White House’s Instagram account?”

11. “HOLY CRAP DID I OVERSLEEP, WHERE AM I? IS IT WORK— Oh. OK.”

12. “I got up early this morning and showered for nothing.”

13. “It is my god-given American right to dig holes when I want and where I want. Government shutdown means nothing to me.”

14. “I’d rather be a zookeeper at my actual job, not at home!”

15. “Who’s going to pave the roads this week? THINK OF THE MAYHEM.”

16. “In times of need, we need to expand our expertise level.”

17. “I came to work today and no one was here. I do not know how to turn on my computer.”

18. “MAYBE YOU CAN TAKE ME TO YOUR WORK INSTEAD, HUH? DOES THAT SOUND GOOD?”

19. “Sometimes you just have to let the Metro go without you.”

“I don’t know what you guys are complaining about, it’s time to paaarrrtayyyyyyyy!”

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