24 Reasons You Caused Your Parents’ Divorce


1. They stopped loving you.

2. They never loved you to begin with.

3. You know that kid down the street? The one who always gets straight A’s? Well, they loved him more than you.

4. You were a constant source of embarrassment.

5. You wouldn’t stop fighting with your brother and/or sister.

6. You cried too much.

7. You reminded them of all the other bad decisions they made.

8. You smelled bad.

9. You wouldn’t stop disappointing them.

10. They found out about your bed-wetting habit.

11. They just didn’t like you on a personal level — and a few other levels, as well.

12. You weirded them out.

13. You always ruined the moment.

14. They found out about that one time you tried a marijuana cigarette.

15. All your Mother’s Day gifts were “from the heart,” and not from somewhere expensive.

16. You didn’t have any cool friends (and still don’t).

17. You spent all your time on BuzzFeed instead of on your homework.

18. You looked at porn on their computer.

19. Your room was a mess — why couldn’t you just keep it clean?!

20. You wouldn’t stop doing that thing they told you to stop doing (you’re doing it now, aren’t you?).

21. You kept insisting that “Firefly” didn’t deserve to be cancelled.

22. You clapped when the plane landed on that one flight to Cincinnati.

23. They found out you’re still a virgin.

24. Look, the reason’s not important… just know it was all your fault.

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