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21 Signs You’re A Medical Student

In case your enormous tuition payments weren’t enough of a clue.

1. You’ve diagnosed yourself with multiple sclerosis, Lyme disease, and/or hypothyroidism (to name a few).

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2. Your classmates have diagnosed you with a personality disorder.

3. Your social life is on life-support.

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4. Technically, your last sexual partner was SimMan.®

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5. You have personal experience diagnosing and treating caffeine withdrawal.

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6. Your bedside manner still needs a little work.

7. Your white coat is full of useless junk.

8. Your student loans have their own student loans.

9. Your clothes have been stained by someone else’s bodily fluids.

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10. You’re perpetually sleep-deprived.

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11. You’re on at least one nurse’s shit list.

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12. You’ve witnessed the miracle of childbirth firsthand.

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13. You can no longer read maps unless they were hand-drawn by Frank Netter.

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14. You’ve missed at least one friend’s wedding because you were on-call.*

*or at least that was your excuse.

15. At least one patient has compared you to Doogie Howser.

16. The only book on your summer reading list this year is First Aid for the USMLE.

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17. No one will watch doctor shows with you because you obnoxiously point out all the medical errors.

18. Real doctors ignore you.

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19. You’re afraid of saying, “I don’t know.”

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20. You feel like Dr. Mario over-prescribes.

21. You’ve thought about what you want to be when you grow up more than you ever did as a child.

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