19 Ways “Saved By The Bell: The College Years” Lied To You About College

Surprising, considering Saved by the Bell: The College Years was a show known for its honesty and realism.

1. Ex-professional football players don’t take odd jobs as RAs.

Via ew.com

Your RA is more likely to be an unbearable theater arts major or a self-loathing physics grad student.

2. Your freshman dorm room won’t be a kick-ass two-bedroom apartment.

Via thiessenpictures.com

You live in a shoe box made of cinder blocks freshman year.

3. You won’t have all your classes with all your roommates in the same lecture hall.

Via thiessenpictures.com

And if you do, it’s not like any of you will actually go.

4. Fraternities aren’t DoubleDare.

Via ovguide.com

And the only “physical challenge” is funneling a 40.

5. Your high school girlfriend won’t suddenly show up as your new roommate.

Via thiessenpictures.com

Good thing that other girl moved out in between episodes!

6. Your on-campus cafeteria isn’t an intimate bistro.

Via thiessenpictures.com

And most people go in pajamas, smelling like Busch Lite and shame.

7. Your student health clinic isn’t a level-one trauma center.

Via thiessenpictures.com

It’s where you go for free condoms and the occasional gonorrhea/chlamydia test.

8. Your hunky professors aren’t interested in dating you.

Via thiessenpictures.com

They just want to sleep with you once or twice.

9. Showing up to a campus party with the university mascot isn’t something to be ashamed of.

Via uproxx.com

Co-eds will be buying you drinks all night, bro!

10. Cast members from Night Court don’t show up with turkeys if you stay on campus for Thanksgiving.

Via thiessenpictures.com

The same goes for Blossom cast members, Brian Austin Green, and your high school principal.

11. College professors don’t go to your dorm room to die.

Via thiessenpictures.com

They die drunk and alone, surrounded by scattered pages of their unfinished novel.

12. Raves don’t spontaneously happen after hours in lecture halls.

Via thiessenpictures.com

Although the part about Screech bringing nitrous oxide is sadly accurate.

13. You’ll never cook freshman year.

Via thiessenpictures.com

Unless you count making Top Ramen on a hot plate at 2AM.

14. Hunky alumni football stars don’t need to Photoshop their pin-up posters.

Via uproxx.com

This was probably cutting-edge trickery in 1993.

15. You have more off-campus housing options than just condemned crack dens.

Via thiessenpictures.com

Although wherever you end up may eventually turn into a condemned crack den.

16. The dad from Wizards of Waverly Place won’t be one of your poker buddies.

Via uproxx.com

Although you may still find him hanging around your dorm.

17. American Gladiators don’t teach on-campus self-defense classes.

Via uproxx.com

You’re lucky if you get a rape whistle.

18. The Dean of Students won’t take the time to meddle in your love life.

Via thiessenpictures.com

Unless it’s in one of her countless mass e-mails you immediately delete.

19. You won’t be best friends with all your roommates.

Via thiessenpictures.com

Instead, you’ll gradually get more passive-aggressive until you finally stop speaking to one another, except for the occasional “liked” Facebook status years later.

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