1. Tony the Tiger
His controversial views on abortion may alienate some voters, but his ideas to tackle campaign finance reform? They’re grrrrrreat!
2. Cap’n Crunch
America loves a war hero in office, although the Cap’n has yet to overcome the left-wing conspiracy theory that his military record was falsified (apparently, a real captain wears four stripes on his uniform).
3. Count Chocula
His nobility background may alienate middle class voters, but he’s guaranteed to bring in the historically disenfranchised vampire vote.
4. The Cheerios Honey Bee
He finished first in his class at Georgetown Law!
5. Fred Flintstone
He has the star power to be the next Ronald Reagan or Arnold Schwarzenegger … so long as he stays sober. And Wilma as his first lady? Yabba dabba doo!
6. Toucan Sam
He certainly has a nose for politics, although he may have lost some votes over his unfortunate remarks at the G8 Summit.
7. Lucky the Leprechaun
Insiders say he’s a lock with young voters… assuming he finally produces a birth certificate.
8. Snap, Crackle, and/or Pop
The Crackle-care website wouldn’t crash nearly as often as healthcare.gov.
9. The Trix Rabbit
His economic stimulus package could revitalize the economy… assuming voters can move past his racy twitter photos.
10. Sonny the Cuckoo Bird
Still has promise, but someone should have told him the cardinal rule of politics: never get caught in bed with a live man or a dead woman.