bhnnad
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    • bhnnad

      Time for Dicky to get Tricky

    • bhnnad

      A lot of these refer to guys on dating websites. I am constantly bombarded with messages from assholes who think they’re nice guys. It’s pretty tiring. We’re not complaining by saying “ew that guy isn’t good enough for me but he has the gall to ask me out.” It’s more like “Ugh once again a guy is being an asshole to me but is trying to guilt trip me into having sex with him because he thinks I owe it to him.”

    • bhnnad

      What planet do you live on that you think that is a common experience? You know what, you’re right, I did go out with one guy who ended up being kind of emotionally abusive. He was a Nice Guy™ who preyed on my sympathies because of his social awkwardness, and then used that to control me. I thought he was just a sweet, awkward, misunderstood guy. Guess what, I run the hell away from Nice Guys™ now because I know that beneath the pity party is an entitled asshole who doesn’t respect me or care about me. Now one of the first things I look for is confidence. Obviously they have to also be a good person and not an asshole, but self-confidence tells me I’m not going to get another abusive nerd who thinks he’s a great person but is actually an entitled asshole who thinks the world owes him something that he’s not getting.

    • bhnnad

      The summary of what you just said is that you view every interaction with a woman (friendship, dating, etc) as a game where you win by sleeping with her. The point of that chart is not that a guy should be a doormat when dating, it’s that a guy shouldn’t expect his female friends to reward him with sex by being a decent human being. PS I am a feminist and don’t think the world “owes” me anything (although I’d really love if I were treated equally to men). I can take care of myself. BUT I also don’t tolerate disrespect. Your condescending speech about “checking daddy issues at the door” is the type of talk that turns a lot of people off. My straight and bisexual male friends don’t see me as a potential sexual encounter and actually like me as a person and want to be friends. My boyfriend loves and respects himself (and I love and respect him) but he doesn’t feel the need to talk down to me and doesn’t expect sex from me on command. That’s pretty much all we’re asking for here. And if you don’t like it, I guess you’ll just date women who don’t identify as feminists. Which, honestly, I think is your loss.

    • bhnnad

      You can stick around and be her friend, but you have to accept that she doesn’t want to date you and you can’t keep harassing her about it or expect her to change her mind (and get upset when she doesn’t). Sure it’s totally possible that someday things will change, but you’re not entitled to that and you can’t expect it from her or be upset with her if she never changes her mind.

    • bhnnad

      I see a lot of comments from Nice Guys™ on here about how women won’t date them and sleep around with unworthy Bad Boys. But, like, maybe you just suck? I’ve had crushes on friends loads of times, so it’s not that women are incapable of developing feelings for a friend. I also didn’t blame those friends for not returning the sentiment, and we stayed friends because I actually valued their friendship and didn’t only see them as potential romantic/sexual partners. The main attributes I personally go for (because keep in mind, NOT ALL WOMEN HAVE THE SAME PREFERENCES) is someone I am attracted to, is smart or at least interesting, loves himself, and is respectful. My current boyfriend STILL verbally checks in to make sure everything is consensual and being enjoyed every time we hook up. That kind of genuine respect is what attracted me to him. All these Nice Guys™ need to understand that a lot of us can smell their disingenuous, entitled, condescending behavior a mile away. I’m not avoiding you because you’re really nice. I date those guys. I’m avoiding you because you’re in denial that you’re not actually nice, you suck and you are a sexist.

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