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1. "It's so weird that you like them. They're like, 16."
2. "I can't believe you actually paid money to go to their concert."
3. "They're a brand, not a band."
4. "They can't even sing."
What's that? Sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of Zayn's miraculous high note.
5. "Or dance."
6. "They're so immature."
7. "Really? One Direction? I thought you were better than that."
8. "Their music sucks."
9. "It's not like you're going to marry one of them."
10. "Harry Styles NEEDS to get a haircut."
11. "You know they're going to break up eventually. All boybands do."
12. "I bet they are assholes in real life."
13. "They don't even play any instruments."
14. "All of their songs are about the same thing."
15. "Their music videos are stupid."
16. "They spend too much time on their hair."
17. "They're not even good-looking."
18. "You're too old to listen to One Direction."
Whew, I'm so glad we had this discussion.
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