Part 2: The Gospel According to the Twilight Saga For months my disciples, ye all have waited patiently to view our angels embodied on thy holy IMAX screen. Rest assured, today, thy holy disciple, Kevin Smith, backed by thy holy company; Summit Entertainment has ended our long suffering. THE FOUR NOBLE TRUTHS THE FIRST NOBLE TRUTH: 1. Suffering is real: Ye shall suffer from the continuous ridicule from Harry Potter fans. Ye shall suffer from the continuous ridicule of Stephanie Meyer’s writing. Ye shall suffer every time Jersey Shore gives us their twilight treatment. Ye shall suffer every year that Summit Entertainment makes us wait. Ye shall suffer waiting for our faithful messenger, Stephanie Meyer, to make up her mind and finish Midnight Sun. Ye shall suffer every interview Robert denies boning Kristen. Ye shall suffer every second another twilight fan fiction is written. http://theholychurchoftwilight.tumblr.com/

0:20 Danielle Staub?

No sparkling vampires? :(

This is annoying. Twilight is terrible when it is homoerotic in the man-on-man way, but as soon as its still shoddily acted but with the male homosexuality replaced by lesbianism, its awesome and socially acceptable to like. I don't like Twilight but I hate this sort of pervasive implicit homophobia.

I'm a straight girl and I think this would be better than Twilight.

Great boobs, horse faces.

Isn't the actual Twilight amazingly homoerotic as is?

THIS WAS CREATED FOR ME. When does this version come out? I want to mark it on my 'Just Hang in There Kitty' calendar and put little hearts around it.