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8 Scientific Facts That Prove Being An A**hole Is Good For You

Because fuck etiquette.

1. Having a heated argument with someone you care about actually reduces stress levels.

University of Zurich: “A dose of the hormone Oxytocin reduces the stress hormone Cortisol in arguing couples. In addition, Oxytocin strengthens positive behavior, as researchers have discovered.”

2. Giving the middle finger theoretically burns around 1.42 calories.

Ben Greenfield: “In this [recent Japanese] study, they calculated the total volume of the muscles used to bend the index finger to be 10.8 cubic centimeters with a total weight of 11.7 grams. The study went on to say:

There are 7.3 calories in one mole of ATP energy, so the number of calories burned in clicking the mouse equals about 1.42 (7.3/1000) X 195).

There you have it: about one and half calories per click of a mouse. Theoretically, this means that just one lift of a middle finger may do the trick!”

3. Driving like a competitive jerk can help boost your reaction time.

Ben Greenfield: Reaction time is highly genetic and typically can only improve 10 to 20%. Two things that help improve reaction time are stimulants and overspeed training. Stimulants increase adrenaline levels - which do indeed enhance the speed of your perceptions and mental processes. The stimulatory neurotransmitters created make your reaction time faster, and this is why athletes get better in competitive situations.

4. Screaming at someone actually releases endorphins in your brain, giving you a natural high.

Dr. Peter Calafiura: “[Yelling] might trigger some endorphins, a natural high. They might feel calm and it might even be a little addictive. It’s really similar to a runner’s high. They’re getting the same effect in a different way.”

5. A feeling of superiority can help keep your body in shape when you get older.

Concordia University: “Declines in self-esteem represent a mechanism that contributes to higher levels of diurnal cortisol secretion if older adults experience psychological distress. Increases in self-esteem, by contrast, can ameliorate older adults’ cortisol regulation in stressful circumstances.”

6. Not giving a fuck about other people and sneezing in a crowded subway is safer than holding it in.

Head and neck surgeon, Alan Wild: “I wouldn’t recommend suppressing a sneeze by any method, whether by pinching one’s nose or consciously sneezing into a closed throat. The risk of an injury is low but you might just be the unlucky one.”

7. Being a dick and leaving the toilet seat up will keep bacteria off your hands.

Ben Greenfield: “The average toilet seat has 1,600 germs per one hundred square centimeters (100cm2).”

No thanks.

8. Regularly beating up people that are weaker than you can help prevent future memory loss (for you… not them).

Harvard Medical School: “Raising your heartbeat sends blood and oxygen to the brain, but other changes happen, too. A lot of research suggests that exercising moderately regularly stimulates brain regions involved in memory function to release a chemical called brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF).”

Most fights will serve as decent form of exercise. Just make sure you’re not getting punched back. What’s your little brother up to right now?

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