26 Everyday Occurrences In Australia

When you live on a barely hospitable desert island that was once a continent-sized penal colony, your life tends to be a little more badass than the average person’s.

1. Vicious koala attacks.

ID: 1175827

2. Thieving kangaroos.

ID: 1175844

3. Alligators attacking helicopters. (Totally normal.)

ID: 1175809

4. Spiders. Everywhere you look is spiders. It’s all spiders.

ID: 1175811

5. Wallabies playing with a rolls of toilet paper like cats.

ID: 1175812

6. Your favorite grocery stores getting sassy.

ID: 1175823

7. The census takers too.

ID: 1175831

8. Oh, and the police departments.

ID: 1175834

9. Visits from Australia’s most majestic animal, the emu.

ID: 1175846

10. So elegant. No wonder they put it on the Australia’s official crest.

ID: 1175847

11. Everyone swearing all the time. (Even the trains.)

ID: 1175828

12. An elderly population that doesn’t fuck around.

ID: 1175813

13. Newspaper articles about cows photobombing horses stuck in a fences.

ID: 1175807

14. Nightmare koalas waiting for you in your garage, presumably to consume you.

ID: 1175808

15. Sperm donor sites that know what’s up.

ID: 1175815

16. Wild dingoes killing and eating sharks on the beaches.

ID: 1175848

17. Stormtroopers unicycling in the rain.

ID: 1175816

18. Men named Jack Mehoff. (Say it slowly.)

ID: 1175818

19. The worst vegetarian restaurants.

ID: 1175819

20. Kangaroos lounging on pristine beaches.

ID: 1175810

21. Well-coordinated renditions of The Simpsons in the opinion pages.

ID: 1175820

22. Attacks from whatever the hell that thing is.

ID: 1175822

23. Not visits from the pope, apparently.

ID: 1175826

24. Fishermen using sharks as bait to catch even bigger sharks.

ID: 1175845

25. Crime so bad that even the prostitutes are getting out of town.

ID: 1175838

26. Swooping kookaburras… which sounds funny, until you see how giant a kookaburra’s beak is.

ID: 1175814

(P.S. We’re looking for editors in New Zealand/Australia: Apply here!)

ID: 1185256

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