• Christmas Time Is Here

  • Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

    This one is especially depressing when you know about the original lyrics.

  • That Was The Worst Christmas Ever

  • Last Christmas

    This one seems uptempo, but it’s about being dumped and making your ex jealous on Christmas. Plus, it’s got a closeted homosexual living a lie, so that counts.

  • Hard Candy Christmas

    A Christmas song written from the perspective of lonely prostitutes. This one was manufactured to be one of the most depressing songs of the season.

  • Blue Christmas

    Obligatory.

  • The Christmas Shoes

    A Christmas song from a one-hit wonder band called NEWSONG. It’s surprising that their career of performing schmaltzy, deeply upsetting Christmas songs didn’t really take off.

  • Please Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk this Christmas)

  • If We Make It Through December

    Country musicians lead incredibly melancholy lives.