1.
I have that super power too!
2.
Also on his marriage certificate.
4.
Like, REALLY brings them out.
5.
Because he literally said they were.
6.
ANIMALCOMPANIONA is really getting on my nerves.
7.
Nope! You did it right.
9.
Red Hot Chili Peppers? They were probably TRYING to get rid of it.
10.
Timing may be a little inappropriate, but someone had to correct him.
11.
16 people penis this penis.
12.
The simple answer is often the best answer.
13.
Frankly, I'm surprised she's managed to figure out Facebook.
15.
Also, he probably pays a lot for both.
17.
A lot of people struggle with their rights and lefts. You'll figure it out.
18.
What a terrible example to use.
19.
That's literally the definition.
20.
Good manners go a long way.
21.
Tosh "WillingToDoAnythingForAJoke"
22.
I'd have loved to hear that phone call.
23.
Good art is hard to find/kill.
24.
SCRREEEECH! BEEP! BEEP! eeeEEEAAAAeeeAAA! wub wub wub wub wub.
25.
Why don't you leave the Interneting to the men, sweetheart.
26.
He didn't take the margin of error into account.