Yeah, a pet with tiny hands who hoots at you and the ability to plot against you is a great idea. Gih.

that woman is a major nagger. Im sure her husband doesn't even listen anymore

I actually find this slightly terrifying.

I really don't like people with pet monkeys. Yeah, they're cute, yeah it's awesome to have an “exotic” pet, but we domesticated dogs; let's not try and turn wild primates into children.

And if you give the monkey any grief over sneaking that grape, he'll scratch your face off…

bad dates

Monkeys … you give 'em an inch, they'll take a mile.