1. Oh, looks like you screwed up that trick. Wouldn’t it suck if you also fell down those stairs?
2. Ha ha! Ghost ride the treadmill! Am I right? Oops! There go your shoes… and there goes your dignity.
3. Man, you really botched that celebration. It’d suck if someone came along and pushed you down, and then someone else fell on you.
4. Oh man, sorry you hit your head. Good thing you didn’t also get hit in the– never mind.
5. How embarrassing! You tripped on that chain when you were trying to show off! Good thing you don’t have any huge messes to clean up.
6. That couple slipped and fell! Wouldn’t it suck if you also slipped when you went to help them? Oh, and then pulled someone else down with you?
7. Trying to enjoy your day? BOOM. Dog checked! Trying to get up? BOOM! DOUBLE DOG CHECKED!
8. Skateboarding is tough, huh? It’s really easy to embarrass yourself falling off of one. Not quite as embarrassing as face-planting into a car though.
9. Don’t you hate falling off the trampoline? Bet I can think of something you’d hate even more!
10. Whoops! Whiffed that shot. Don’t get frustrated! You always get worked up and do something stupid when you’re frustrated.
11. Pro tip: Be careful with nunchucks. Another pro tip: Be extra careful with nunchucks around skateboards.
12. Oof! Falling off a building must hurt, right? Well, at least your crotch is still intact. Oops!
13. Ugh! That’s a hard trick to nail. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Definitely don’t bash yourself in the face with your own broken skateboard.
In The News Today
- California Republican Kevin McCarthy has dropped out of the race to be the next speaker of the U.S. House. ›
- FIFA has suspended its president Sepp Blatter, secretary general Jerome Valcke, and vice-president Michel Platini for 90 days. ›
- Congressional Democrats are urging the TSA to change its screening procedures for transgender passengers. ›