1. In Hackney you’ll encounter some hardcore neighbourhood feuds.
2. And some vicious coffee snobs.
3. Who have no time for pensioners.
4. There are some rather unfriendly hairdressers.
“Sorry your 15 minutes is up. Have fun with half a fringe.”
5. Then again it’s Hackney. Lopsided haircuts aplenty!
6. But the harsh Hackney weather conditions = many wig casualties.
7. Hackney doesn’t take part in trendy food crazes. They have their own delicacies.
9. There are a lot of fashionable pop ups but everything will be sold out by the time you tweet about it.
10. Even last year’s Christmas tree was steeped in fashion.
11. You’ll see a lot of fixed speed bikes.
13. A large part of Hackney is inhabited by alien folk.
14. Allegedly they come from an intergalactic portal located on this Hackney Wick bridge.
16. Forget City Lit. Hackney has a lot of unique courses on offer.
18. Hackney Hipsters are constantly trying to out hipster each other no matter how old they are.
19. Luckily there are safety precautions in place to protect the hipsters from themselves.
20. People in Hackney are often overly polite.
21. But the place is rife with conflicting messages.
22. There are dogs who dress better than you ever will.
23. There are children who dress better than you ever will.
24. They rock backpacks better than you ever will.
25. In fact Hackney kids are better than you in every aspect.
26. Hackney street art = inspirational.
28. In Hackney there’s a lot of old men lighting fires.
29. And girls who eat the fires.
30. There are a crap load of mattresses lying around Hackney.
31. And they love a good pun.
32. There’s suicidal wildlife.
33. Buildings that look like a rainbow jizzed all over them.
34. Hackney is essentially purgatory.
35. But at least their bins exhibit a sense of humour.
So get your asses over to Hackney
- Turkey's military released an audio recording of what it says were warnings to the Russian warplane before it was downed near Syria's border. ›
- Protesters marched in Chicago for the second night in a row after the release of a video showing the police shooting of black teen Laquan McDonald. ›
- And President Obama actually made his daughters laugh at the annual White House turkey pardon. ›