1. The first time you get asked to watch a game it’s a huge honour. They’re letting you into their world!
2. This game is also pivotal in finding out how fanatic they really are...
3. Do they celebrate like this?
Or is it more like this?
4. If your BF plays football himself there are a ton of online resources to help you out.
5. As time goes by you'll become more familiar with all the team abbreviations.
6. Watching football at the weekend isn't so bad until you realise there's also ...Soccer Saturday.
And don't forget...
When it gets to Sunday evening you're all like: "Yay! No Football!" Oh you silly fool...
7. From watching Bend it like Beckham you thought you totally understood the offside rule.
But now you're watching actual football you realise you don't have a clue and you're too scared to ask out of fear of looking like a real football noob.
Besides you still chime in when there’s an offside debate anyway.
8. Asking questions when the game is on is OK as long as it's not during the lead-up to a goal or during a foul.
9. Types of questions that are NOT fine to ask mid-game:
1. Don't you think he looks a bit like that guy from the Venga Boys?
2. Do you remember the Venga Boys?
3. Weren't the Venga Boys great?
4. LET'S LISTEN TO SOME VENGA BOYS!
10. As the season goes on you’ll develop a repertoire of standard phrases to fit in with the football fans.
11. There is an unspoken agreement that if you’re watching the game but also doing something else at the same time, you must at least pay attention when there is a goal.
12. Top tip: when they score you better get off the freakin’ couch.
13. One time you thought it would be “funny” to cheer for the wrong team. Definitely not funny.
14. Commenting on the attractiveness of rival teams is also a big no-no.
15. Just stay away from commenting on attractiveness in general. No matter how hard it is.
16. 'Having cute kids' is not a valid reason to pick someone as your favourite player.
17. Best part of dating a football fanatic: beers and snacks galore!
18. Worst part: if your dad/brothers/guy mates support a rival team.
19. Christmas is all nice and pleasant until someone brings up the league table.
20. Even though you don't REALLY care, when someone slags off your boyfriend's team you get super defensive.
21. Football fans are easy when it comes to finding birthday presents...
22. Also no need to bother with sexy lingerie because this is the only turn-on you need.
23. Of course wearing that shirt is mandatory when a game is on. If you don't YOU WILL BE THE REASON THEY DIDN'T GET THAT PENALTY.
24. When they’re busy explaining their thoughts behind their Fantasy Football decisions it is acceptable for your brain to turn off.
25. At first when they were incessantly using their phone in your presence you thought they must just be texting loads of people.
26. Nope, their only other relationship is with BBC Football.
27. The people they call as much as you are fellow supporters post-match.
28. Introducing your partner to your friend group will go seamlessly if they have a football team in common.
29. If they win a big game be prepared to experience happiness at its greatest.
30. If they lose they'll regress to the state of grumpy infancy.
31. But don’t worry he probably doesn’t love football more than you.
