1. After getting through a lot of Tinder dirt-bags like this…
2. You’ve finally swiped your way to a good catch.
3. You arrange to meet somewhere in public because you’re not stupid.
4. Before the meet you change your outfit a million times because everything seems a bit over the top.
5. Your friends are absolutely NO help in advising you…
6. You read some dating tips from your favourite blogs.
But all the conflicting information sends your brain into overdrive.
7. You’re about to cancel but then you remember this one important thing about yourself…
8. So you give yourself a pep talk and leave the house.
9. On the way there you listen to some 80s power ballads to get in the zone.
10. You’ve timed it perfectly so you’re neither late or stupidly early.
12. At this point you’re either pleasantly surprised. Photos match the face. Yay!
13. Either way you get on with it. Time for the greet: do you hug, kiss, shake hands?
WHY DID YOU NOT LOOK THIS UP ON ONE OF YOUR DATING BLOGS!!!
Or you realise the strategic placing of a cute puppy in their pics was deliberate. Hmmf.
15. Time for general chit chat, asking how their day was etc.
16. You both comment on how crazy this whole Tinder thing is.
And how you ONLY use it as a joke/ when you’re bored/ because your friends made you do it.
17. You order some drinks. While you could do with a triple whiskey on the rocks you stick to wine.
18. Tinder notifications keep pinging on your phone. Time to turn that thing on silent.
19. Then you get round to asking each other some Big Questions.
Of course you filter out the boring stuff.
20. During the silences you have to stop yourself from doing something weird.
21. Then hopefully this happens: YOU ACTUALLY HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON.
Yes totally I agree!!! Step Up has NOTHING on Step Up 2: The Streets.
22. But then a dark cloud appears…
23. When your date goes to the toilet you attend those Tinder notifications.
But your date is actually better than anyone else within a 50-mile radius.
24. Before you know it it’s time to say goodbye.
25. Crippling fear of rejection means tongues will most likely stay in their respective mouths.
26. And before the onslaught of SHOULD I TEXT THEM/ SHOULD I NOT TEXT THEM starts up again. Time to phone a friend that you made it out alive.
27. And maybe see what’s cracking on Tinder. Maybe.
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