1. There is a man-sized rabbit.
If this guy wasn’t in any of your nightmares growing up…you’re one of the lucky ones.
2. There are no real presents.
Books about Jesus of Nazareth don’t count as presents, Mom.
3. It is not an acceptable drinking holiday.
What kind of a goddamned charade is this? If there are no Bloody Marys, you can’t call it brunch. Just stop. Stop it.
4. People hunt for eggs in the yard.
Who masterminded the hunt and thought it would be fun? No one is getting even close to having a little bit of fun. I would rather do sit-ups than play this game. The worst part….you can’t drink to lessen your boredom because, guess what, it’s Easter.
5. You have to go to Church.
There is no escape from it either. Just ask that little girl.