21 Signs You’re Your Own Worst Enemy

Look in the mirror. There’s your nemesis.

1. You never go to bed on time even though you need at least eight hours of sleep to function properly.

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2. And you are guaranteed to hit snooze on your alarm clock every single morning, even if you have things to do.

It’s only a question of how many times.

3. You tell yourself you’re a procrastinator and that there’s nothing you can do about it.

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4. You’ve made a habit of drinking way more coffee than your body can handle.

5. You know your limits with alcohol and you love to push them.

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6. The words “all you can eat” are your kryptonite.

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7. Even though you will hate yourself for it the next day, there’s a soft spot in your burning heart for spicy food.

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8. You’ll drain your phone’s battery by playing games and music when you’re awaiting an important phone call.

9. You’re always late, you know you’re always late, and you’ve accepted that you’re always late.

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10. And if you’re early, you’re way too early — like, embarrassingly early.

11. For some odd reason, you buy plane tickets at the absolute last second and pay the highest price.

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And you’ve known about this trip for a year.

12. You buy things that you really don’t need and can’t possibly afford.

13. And you’ll do that right before your rent is due.

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14. You can’t seem to stop yourself from reading spoilers.

15. You love making bets but can’t remember the last time you won one.

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16. Despite everything we know, you still believe you’re the type of person who “doesn’t need sunscreen.”

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17. You always forget your umbrella when it matters most.

18. Even though you’re a hypochondriac, you’ll do whatever it takes to avoid a trip to the doctor.

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19. You ambitiously buy lots of groceries that you don’t end up eating.

20. And they sit in your fridge until your whole neighborhood knows they’ve gone bad.

21. Finally, you’ll read this list and insist that none of these apply to you.

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Associate Editor
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