Where’s The Best Place For A Tattoo?

If you work a corporate job and want something that can be displayed when appropriate and hidden when necessary, where do you ink? The Fashion Mailbag is here to help. posted on

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I’m a woman in my mid-twenties. I have a somewhat serious job where I can’t look too edgy, but I have wanted a tattoo for a long time and I’m finally ready to go for it. There’s no way it’s going on my lower back or other cliché area. So where is the best place to get it?

Side boob. Well, side boob once removed — that area just to the side of your boob. (Like under the armpit, kinda.) Think about it: it’s the one area of a woman’s body that is probably always concealed at the office, business casual or otherwise. But when you’re out on the weekend you can wear the shirt with the big armholes and let it loose!

You’re probably thinking this is a terrible idea. But I believe I can present a compelling case for the side boob tat (appropriately, one letter away from, well, you know). So first: what kind of tattoo-getter are you? In analyzing your issue, I have identified two primary kinds of tattoo people, which are easily illustrated with celebrities.

1. The non-committal type. These are the people who seem like they want a tattoo for the sake of having a tattoo, more than for the sake of permanently wearing a symbol that means something to them, or because they want to make tattoos a big part of their look, stylistically. The non-committal tattoo-getters go for innocuous generic shapes in places no one cares about. These are the people who get itsy bitsy tiny stars on, like, the top of their feet or behind their ear — a speck that may as well not be there.

Models often go for this kind of tattoo. I assume it’s because they have to be blank slates for the people who hire them, and therefore can’t usually get away with a unicorn jumping over a rainbow across their entire backs. Gisele is one example:

She has two tattoos — one on her left wrist of a star, and one on her inner right ankle of a crescent moon and stars.

Victoria’s Secret hottie Alessandra Ambrosio also has a very tiny crescent moon-and-star tattoo on her lower back.

Apparently there might be a creature in the crescent moon — a teddy bear or cow that fell into it, or something — but no one seems to know, the Huffington Post has reported.

2. The very committed type. These are the people who get tattoos they don’t regret and don’t get removed. Maybe they go with their significant other to the tattoo parlor and get each other’s names inked on them in a fit of romance! And then they stay together forever and are always happy they did it. Or maybe these are the people who just love turning themselves into walking illustrations and totally rock it. Like fashion designer Marc Jacobs.

Or, Rihanna! Who is not as inked as Marc, who delightfully resembles a page out of a children’s book, but is well on her way.

Fernando Leon / Getty Images

She tattooed below her collar bone, on her side neck (pictured above) and back of her neck and back (pictured below):

She also has tats on her hip, behind her ear, in her ear, on her hands, on her ankles…

And most importantly, side boob!

Assuming you are the more committed type of tattoo-er, I’d say go for something in that area. You obviously don’t have to go for Riri’s guns, which give this body art a certain vibe, but I think you’ll find many benefits in the side boob locale: you can hide it at work and flaunt it when you’re not at work; it’s nowhere in the vicinity of tramp stamp territory; and it’s naughty but not, like, scary naughty, like this:

And the side boob tat will show people that you’re not wishy washy about whether or not you should have gotten the tattoo in the first place. It’s bold, yet subtle.

Also, one more suggestion: maybe don’t get an entire encyclopedia tattooed there? It strikes me as a little, oh, presumptuous to expect people to read you in that way.

This probably isn’t really who you are.

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