1. First up: New York
Alice + Olivia hired models to have a pillow fight. Nothing says “go shopping!” like skinny people whacking the crap out of each other with dainty purple pillows.
2. People who came out to support the FNO cause wore their most eye-catching (read: necessary) accessories.
This gentleman, which the wire image service tells me is “jewellery [sic] designer Brooklyn” is pictured looking at the Diane Von Furstenberg store. Seriously considering spending his money to support the fashion business, surely.
A dangerous sex rabbit roams the Meatpacking District.
4. The MAC store had Azealia Banks perform.
She made a lipstick for them, or something. Whether or not the event prompted anyone to buy a significant amount of makeup there remains unclear.
5. United Colors of Benetton attempted to attract shoppers with this art.
This piece is called “Position of the Anvil,” which I guess translates to “Yarn Mannequins Having Sex.”
6. Saks Fifth Avenue hired the luxury goods equivalent of entertainment: the Blue Man Group.
I guess they did some sort of dance.
That may have included shopper participation.
8. Anna Wintour was the coolest celebrity of the night.
This “Fashion’s Night Out” business being her brainchild, she appeared at a number of spots.
Here she is at a signing with Victoria Beckham, who wore the most expertly tailored janitor’s uniform ever seen.
9. Anna giving side eye.
Someone meme this already.
10. Anna being a badass.
Calvin Klein suits and Dwyane Wade. Anna’s version of backup dancers.
11. The Calvin Klein store also kept Ryan Lochte in a cage.
I guess they sent Dwyane Wade in to check on him every now and then.
12. “A fashion magazine is viewed in the trash on the street.”
That brilliant caption comes courtesy of the photo wire service. Appropriately, next to the magazine in the trash is one of those coconut waters in a flavor that never needed to exist.
13. Bethenny appeared at Macy’s with her wine and new line of Skinnygirl under garments.
14. It was a glamorous moment for sure.
This is what driving commerce is all about, folks.
15. At Gucci, people that maybe actually bought stuff paused to ponder the manatee-sized handbag sculpture.
16. Despite the weather not being cold, and Debra Messing having loads of lovely clothing options for her Michael Kors store appearance, she wore… this.
I do have to give her props for looking different from Nina Arianda, Nikki Reed, and Kate Upton who all wore skintight dresses. Unlike them, Debra can go straight from this to the Yeti convention.
18. Bloomingdales in New York hired musical entertainment.
Meet Mike Furey and Sandflower. No, I don’t know who they are.
19. On the other side of the world in Shanghai, people really shopped.
Vuitton handbags, plural.
20. Chinese actress Sun Li got swarmed at a “Vogue” event.
I can’t imagine who would have to show up to something in order for this kind of a frenzy to ensue in the States. Probably like Rihanna riding a horse in the nude with a newly adopted baby.
21. Moving west to Paris: cheerleaders stormed the streets to put on cutesy displays.
It’s like a janky version of the Madonna show!
22. Finely dressed French people instagrammed.
What else is the point of cheerleaders making heart shapes in the streets?
23. Lingerie store La Perla put models on the street in their underwear.
It’s like the high-end version of Abercrombie & Fitch’s semi-naked in-store marketing efforts.
24. FNO in Paris included stations where you could get complicated braids professionally done for you.
25. In London, Tallulah Harlech wielded a shoe.
Or: medieval torture device? You be the judge.
26. Models are a big part of FNO festivities. This one in Moscow had to host an event in the rain.
But, it should be noted, she did not have to suffer through carrying her own umbrella.
27. Over in Sydney, Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr tried to get people to buy her skincare line by holding someone else’s child.
28. But this was arguably the best FNO event worldwide.
Sydney Lord Mayor Clover Moore kicked off things by posing with a crush of shirtless pretty boys.
29. Who wouldn’t want this to be their photo background?
The only downside is the red pants brigade might take the attention off you (which is often not what fashion people who work hard on our outfits and looking blasé want). But I mean, hello Facebook!