When I was three I wanted to share my mom’s McDonald’s salad and ran around the table with a plastic fork to grab a bite. Unfortunately, I fell and the fork went right into my eye. My mom, who is terrified of bridges, couldn’t drive me to the hospital because it was across a bridge and had to get a neighbor to take us with the fork still hanging out of my eyeball. Sidenote: My childhood best friend told this story to her elementary school class and a girl fainted. A boy in that class grew up to be a friend of mine and still remembered it when we met in college.
How dare you ruin Grumpy Cat for me.
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