1. “I couldn’t live without bread.”
Eh, you’d manage.
3. “But what if you only had half a bagel?”
Then I’d get sick. :/
4. “Are you just doing it cause it’s trendy?”
Nope! People who have celiac disease cannot break down gluten; it can lead to diabetes, cancer, and other serious conditions if they’re not careful.
5. “Oh I know exactly what that’s like, I’m a vegan/vegetarian.”
Being a vegan or vegetarian is a choice.
6. “Do you miss pasta? Do you miss pizza? Do you miss cake?”
7. “I would kill myself if I couldn’t eat pizza.”
8. “All gluten-free food is terrible.”
OK, the 90s were not a good time for gluten-free food. But there are so many amazing gluten-free products now! Chances are if you tried something, you would genuinely enjoy it. You might not even notice a difference.
9. “I’m gluten-free too!” *sips beer* “…Sometimes.”
10. “I tried to be gluten-free once to lose weight.”
11. “We’re all going out to eat, so you probably won’t want to come.”
Wait, no, please still include me.
12. “What happens when you eat gluten?”
I will go into a detailed poop account if you want me to, but we’re at a dinner table, so Iet’s talk later.
13. “At least you don’t have to be tempted by all this food!”
Well, maybe not at this bakery. But have you heard of ice cream? Or gluten-free bread? Or gluten-free pasta? Or gluten-free cake???? I got options, baby!
14. “Science will probably change its mind in, like, three years, and you’ll be safe again.”
You’re right. The dozens of doctors I went to were probably all wrong, and the years of feeling sick were just a fever dream.
15. “What even is gluten, though?”
Doing a Google search doesn’t hurt! There’s lots of info out there.
16. “What do you mean you can’t eat these brownies I just made? Is your diet more important?”
I STILL LOVE YOU AS A FRIEND, but my tummy does not love that flour.
18. “I’m on a gluten-free diet right now, it’s HORRIBLE. I’ll probably give up soon.”
19. “Oh! I just read an article saying it’s not the gluten that hurts you, it’s some other kind of protein/carbohydrate/science word. Isn’t that good news?”
Hate to break it to ya but that article probably doesn’t apply here.
20. “I can’t believe you spend that much money on fake bread products. Aren’t you broke from all this?”
Well, yes actually! But I don’t really have a choice.