We Held A Spelling Bee At The Labor Conference And Nobody Knew How To Spell "Palaszczuk"

We got factional rivals Andrew Giles and Sam Dastyari to go head to head in the First Triannual Labor Conference Spelling Bee...And they cheated. A lot.

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Member for Scullin, Andrew Giles is from Victoria's left. The MP made a name for himself this weekend when he moved an amendment to prohibit the party from turning back boats. His measured but passionate speech won him a lot of respect. Senator Sam Dastyari from NSW is a well-known member of the Labor Unity faction. He recently starred in the ABC's Killing Season, winning accolades for his excellent re-enactments of talking on the phone.

When Giles fronts up, Dastyari is outraged. "The whole thing's rigged! You've got this lawyer, this expert, up against a first generation migrant refugee from Iran!" he says.

"I love your shamelessness," shoots back Giles. "I can't believe that you are complaining about something being rigged."

They are both pretty hungover. We begin.

The first word? Humanitarian.

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At least they still know how to spell it.

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"Halal"

"George Christensen was talking to me about this just the other day," says Dastyari.

He sneaks a peek at Giles answer.

We accept Dastyari's spelling in Farsi. But he cheated, so Giles wins.

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The next word is CFMEU.

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Nailed it.

Then we told them to spell "misappropriation".

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This one's hard to judge. Giles got it correct, but Dastyari got it right.

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We're going to give it to Dastyari.

Labor left and right both agree on the correct spelling of ETS:

If you can't read what Giles wrote, it says "The same as him (but slower)".

Well, that was terrible. How about something a bit easier?

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Look how happy Dastyari is with himself!

But the correct spelling is actually "Dasher", so it goes to Giles.

How about the last name of Queensland's premier, Annastacia Palaszczuk?

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"I know the trick!" says Dastyari. Giles says he knows a different trick. (It's copying what Dastyari writes.)

"It's something....zoo... something." They've got no clue.

Queenslander Ray Smith is manning a stall near by. He steps in to help.

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So did they get it? NOPE.

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Andrew Giles went for "Palazchuk". Sam Dastyari settled on "Pallaszczkuz".

They're both wrong but Dastyari is wronger so Giles wins this round.

For the record, the "trick" to remember how to spell the -szczuk ending is "Sydney Zoo Canberra Zoo U-K". Too easy.

They're both very happy to spell "affiliation".

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AND IT'S A WIN FOR LABOR LEFT!!!

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They both run back off to their separate caucus meetings ahead of the afternoon's debates.

But we all know the only competition that really matters is already done.