Stage 1: The lurking suspicion that you might not have a booty.
Stage 2: The scientific comparison to all extant booties.
Stage 3: The realization that you do not, in fact, have a booty.
Stage 4: Denial that you have no booty. There has to be at least SOME booty!
Stage 5: Research. How does one acquire a booty?
Stage 6: Defeat. You're too lazy to do the billion squats required to get a booty.
Stage 7: Mourning. So much booty out there and it will never be yours :(
Stage 8: Acceptance. You don't need a booty as long as you love -yourself-
Stage 9: Celebration. You're bootyless and proud!
